These are a few….maybe several….stories about the men I somehow find myself in relationships with. I can’t stress enough that the word relationship in 90% of these stories should be used in the loosest possible context. I will also write about the struggles of being a single 20 something in general!
Since I have somewhat depressingly become a single, twenty something again that means the return of dating. As much as I hate dating, I’m often reminded that prince charming is not going to just spontaneously arrive at my front door and therefore….I need to sometimes leave the comfort of my couch. After all…..
Since I’m trying to be good with the budget, and since I’m saving lots of pennies for a major purchase…. 🙂 ….. I decided to give Tinder another whirl. Why….why do we keep doing things we know are stupid in the hopes that “Oh, maybe it’s mystically gotten better!” It hasn’t…..please don’t go conduct your own research, I’m here to do that for you. I present to you….the steps you should follow on tinder to avoid this kind of situation in your life!
However, one night, I thought I had found the mystical tinder unicorn! He was tall, good looking, never been married, well educated, no kids…….was looking promising. We started texting and things seemed to be going well. He’s funny, clever, easy to have a conversation with, and didn’t have bad grammar. Note to dudes of the world…..maybe try and be on your best grammatical behavior the first few texts? I know I make grammar and typo errors…..but I’ve gotten some tinder messages that are almost down right unreadable!
What u up to
–Because adding in atleast an ‘r’ and a ‘?’ was gonna be way too much effort…..
Hey how it goin
–Oh ya know…..it’s going….away from you!
So, “Batman” and I texted for a few days and decided that we should go out and get drinks. I will point out that at this point I knew he had gotten a Batman robe for Christmas, but he said it was from his brother and I just figured it was some kind of gag gift or like White Elephant thing or whatever…..because ya know….I just made assumptions. Step 1: Never make assumptions.
So Date Day arrived. I was excited, the girls at work were excited. And then….he cancelled. This almost immediately sent us into a flurry of online research trying to learn more about him. I’d like to say that we are all twenty something girls and that’s just what we’ve been conditioned to do in the face of adversity, but our office manager….who sorta led the charge…..isn’t a twenty something. But she has two twenty something kids so that makes her an honorary member?! I think yes!
In googling, we discovered his ex girlfriend. We also discovered that his ex girlfriend had been at Christmas with his family. (This occurred the week between Christmas and New Years) Needless to say, we dug pretty deep around Facebook, and found out some less than stellar things. Everyone told me to leave it alone but I, being the somewhat bitchy, no bullshit, and impatient person that I am, sent the girl a Facebook message. Now many of you don’t know, but it takes me maybe 7-9 mins to get from the office back to my house. Before I had even made it home, she had texted him and he had texted me all pissy that I had talked to her. Well……maybe don’t be on Tinder when you’re cuddled up to your ex girlfriend in your Facebook profile picture?!? It doesn’t give off the “I’m single and ready to mingle” sorta vibe to say the least. I figured that was the end of us talking, lost another one to being an asshole, and moved on with life. Step 2: Always trust your gut.
I didn’t think much of him until I was on my way to see my cousins for New Years Eve. I started getting texts from him about how he was really a nice guy,he wasn’t trying to lead anyone on or be sneaky, he’s totally single and she’s seeing someone else, and he was sorry for the misunderstanding. Against my better judgment, and in total disregard of Step 2, I agreed to meet him for drinks New Years Day night. I was home alone after having to cut my weekend cousin party short due to weather anyway…..might as well go out and do something right?!
Show up for drinks….he’s in a super hero t-shirt. Granted he does have a button down over the top of it, but you can still see the super hero beneath. Now in talking to him I had started to realize that he was a big fan of the super hero, and I mean we all have to have our thing. But……really…..on a first date?! While on the date I also discovered that he has the Batman symbol tattooed on his wrist. Couple thoughts…..I find that to be a very feminine place to get a tattoo, possibly just because I know a lot of girls with tattoos there and not very many guys, and second……why Batman?! I don’t know a ton about super hero and comics and whatever but isn’t Batman considered to be sorta the dud amongst them?!? Someone more well versed in these things can feel free to offer up opinions and explanations.
The date went well…..or so I thought. He was pretty much as expected; tall, good looking, funny, clever, he kept up drink for drink with me which is impressive, well educated, and well traveled. We basically only left the bar because they were closing down and we had to leave. I wasn’t even home yet when he texted saying what a great time he had and how he wanted to see me again. A couple texts later we had agreed to meet again Wednesday night. Nothing specific, just pencilled in Wednesday night plans. This all seemed well and good….UNTIL I NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN! Step 3: If they have to apologize and tell you they aren’t an asshole before you’ve even met them….they are probably an asshole!
Now, I’d understand if we had gone on a date and he just wasn’t feeling it and we never went out again. That’s cool, it happens….no big deal what so ever. But why would you ever go out of your way to make second date plans with someone and then just fall off a cliff?! What even is the point of that?! I suppose much like “How many licks does it take to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop?” the answer is of course, “The world may never know….”
Now that I’m a single twenty something again, I can return to writing about all my dating adventures. Apparently……this is something that’s frowned upon in relationships. I’m not sure why, because my past relationships are what shaped me into who am I and brought me to this point in my life. But, I suppose on the other hand I can understand how being confronted with your person’s past all the time could be awkward. When you get to be this age, we all know everyone has dated someone else before……we just collectively don’t acknowledge this fact and pretend it’s not a thing that’s happened. It’s just one of the unwritten laws of being a single twenty something.
For this particular chapter, we are going way back on the dating scale. Back many moons ago when I was merely a middle aged twenty something in search of a quality drunk weekend with friends. Ok, so I’m still generally in favor of a good old fashioned drinking weekend…..but the point is I was younger and life generally seemed better!
I mean, would you just look at us?!? Babies! Infants!
Blissfully still unaware of how much being an adult can suck. I had strings of pink tinsel in my hair!!! So, there I was all done up with a fresh hair cut, dye job, and tinsel……in a silver mini dress….wearing spanx and two bras (to shove the girls way up there fake boob style)…….and 5 inch silver heels. I’m going to be honest when I saw that plenty of guys talked to me that night, but all of them were short and not really all that great. I was also the subject of a fight between a married couple at one point because he was sure my boobs were fake, and she was sure they were real. I’m not sure what happened to them, or how the fight ended….it was sorta weird and I mostly just exited their area. Things were going along as they do most party nights at a bar, and then up walked Burrito Dude.
I remember taking off my heels and standing in the sawdust at the Saloon 10 to verify the fact that Burrito Dude was taller than me. I tend to put people through this check before I invest any sorta energy into them…..does that make me shallow?! It probably does, but to be fair I don’t think it’s changing anytime soon.
I was fairly drunk that night and I don’t remember a ton of details, but I do know that in trying to dance with me, he unzipped my wristlet and sent my poor little slider phone flying across the dance floor where it landed and broke apart. The phone and I survived the night….barely, and the night ended with Bitch Faced Bestie yelling at Lil B about being a lady because she was sitting on the sawdust covered floor trying to find us a ride home. We did get a safe ride home, but we still haven’t let her live down “the sawdust event”.
Next day, in the middle of hangover lounging with the BFB, Burrito Dude sent a text asking if I wanted to go to dinner. I didn’t really want to, as the hangover was becoming pretty real, but I did eventually agree to go with him. He ate steak tips and I sipped a Diet Coke….I’m sure I was a great date….although I think I probably did munch a couple of his fries. He went home, I passed out to sleep off the weekend, and drove home the next day not really thinking much of it honestly.
A few weeks come and go and Burrito Dude decides that he wants to come see me. He does, but I don’t even know what we really did. I do recall that before he left town we went to Ihop and I had cheesecake pancakes. I think it must say something about my priorities in life that I remember that I had cheesecake pancakes, but I can’t honestly tell you what he and I even did other than that.
They have chunks of cheesecake in them…..who wouldn’t want these!?!?!
I did end up making a trip back out to the hills Valentine’s Day weekend. Now, don’t get any ultra mushy, romantic ideas. I mean I did see him, but mostly I went because The Girls and I had planned to go to a fancy masquerade party. I don’t think we went…..I think we instead ended up drinking downtown again, as we usually do. He was in town with his parents for some fundraiser activity, and he ended up driving me and my car back to his house in Rapid City. I’m pretty sure I passed out in the passenger seat. (Don’t judge me…I was younger and partied harder back in the day!)
Once again, I don’t think we did anything all that exciting, but at some point he decided we needed food and we went to Qdoba. Just as I was getting all ready to show my chicken burrito who was boss, he chirped in with the fun fact that if I had gotten a naked burrito bowl I would have saved myself 300 calories. In response to my dismay at why he would even know that sort of information he replied,
It’s just more calories to work off at the gym.
That was really the beginning of the end for us! I also ended up making him taco casserole…..which is amazing, and he said it would be better if it had less cheese and sour cream…….(cue cricket noise of shock)…….
The actual end was when he basically kicked me out of his house later that weekend so that he could go skiing. Nothing says, “I’m into you” like waking a girl up and kicking her out of your house so you can go hit the slopes. I went to Philly Ted’s, picked up my traditional order of cajun chicken sandwiches to bring home, hit the road, and basically never looked back!
Shortly after me, he met a girl that he still is currently dating. Actually, I saw them the other weekend when I was out in the hills for the concert weekend with the besties. I was pretty sure that he didn’t know who I was, but BFB was pretty sure that he did. Who knows really, but it wouldn’t have worked out anyway. The only things I remember about hanging out with him was what I ate….and probably he was secretly judging me the entire time.
……Plus, he’s a cat person….and I’m sure you’ve all figured out by now that I am not a cat person.
I never thought I’d have to write this blog. I’ve written blogs like this before, but I never thought I would have to write one about this person…..Main Squeeze…..
I wrote the title and the first line 2 months ago, and then I just sat on it. I waited in the hopes of not burning a bridge, I waited hoping that things would change, and we would get better. I waited thinking that if you had love everything else would eventually fall into place. I waited thinking that a connection as strong as and instant as we had had to mean something.
I was wrong
For two months I fought everyday to hold on to feelings and a love that I thought could get us through anything. I knew I couldn’t make him love me, but he swore that he did, and he promised that a life with me was what he wanted. He was my person, he was the one I turned to to make things better, and even now I just want him to tell me that things will be ok.
For two months I waited. Waited to feel like I mattered to him again, mattered more than just a text message, or a random phone call. Waited for him to decide that he wanted to see me, and that things would go back to how they had always been. In the moments were it all felt hopeless he would talk to me, and we would talk about how we were feeling and how much we loved each other and it felt like we’d turn a corner…….but the corner was never a corner, just a ring.
For two months we talked everyday. He told me how much he wanted to fix things and that we were going to work on things to be better together. And for two months I believed him, I trusted that we wanted the same thing, and I had hope that things would be ok. After one ruined vacation with him, he told me he wanted to go on vacation with my family, and I trusted him. I invited him to spend time with my family even though I had never met his.
For two months I poured my whole heart into something that couldn’t have been more of a lie.
Yesterday he told me that he’s no longer in love with me, but that he still loves me. Yesterday he told me that we have nothing in common, because I don’t love sports the way he does. Yesterday he told me he no longer could see me in his future, because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship like we had.
In that moment, everything felt like it was crumbling. I had known things weren’t perfect, and I knew we were nearing the end, but to have it happen all over again was something I just wasn’t ready for. I had woke up Friday morning knowing that he wasn’t going to come see me for the weekend like he promised. I don’t know how or why any of this caught me off guard and made me feel so helpless, but it did. To have to listen to him say those things after finding so much comfort the night before in him saying that I was the girl he wanted and that we weren’t fizzling out, it was crushing.
Since we’ve already covered the fact that I’m an upper twenty something with absurd dating stories….obviously, I’ve dated some winners. I am however, a firm believer that everything you go through in life molds you into the person you currently are. You can either become weighed down with your failures, or use them as opportunities to grow. I choose to grow! Part of growing means you must dig through the crap trying to find helpful nuggets to truth. This can be especially difficult after a break up. Give yourself some time, enjoy some of Ben and Jerry’s fine creations, and when you’re ready, begin the digging.
From every relationship I’ve tried to learn something. Sometimes they are stupid, sometimes they help other people more than they help me, but there always has to be a good thing. Some of the relationships were serious, some were not, doesn’t mean you can’t learn.
The OG– Time really does heal even the deepest of wounds and betrayals. It’s taken more the a decade, but the OG and I are back on friend terms…..we even occasionally get together for drinks!
The Drummer – Your Momma is always right. I know you don’t want to admit this, but it’s true….just accept it and move on.
Tonka Truck Driver – There is a clear, and sometimes not so present difference between Mr. Good Enough for Now and Mr. Right. Don’t ever think you need to settle, and be grateful for the bullets you dodge in life!
The Pot Head – Apparently, you can make pot brownies without actual leaves in your batter?? The things you learn when chemistry and chemical dependence meet.
The Ginger – Country boys and city girls don’t mix…….this is wrong. Don’t let other people’s opinions weigh on your relationship. Especially when those opinions come from the girl your man had previously wanted to date. Jealousy is a for real thing kids! If nothing else, remember city girls and country jerks don’t mix!
ADD 3 – Spicy Ramen packets! I don’t eat them, but they became a favorite lunchtime treat for one of my UBS girls!
Naked Burrito Guy – You can make eggs in the microwave! I never knew….turns out guys who can’t cook do have some useful kitchen skills. Making breakfast burritos has never been so quick and easy!
The Pole Jumper – Enchiladas…..he’ll make them better than you, but it’s something to work towards! Trial and error can be delicious…..a slightly sub par enchilada is better than no enchilada at all!
The Cliffdiver– Sometimes, giving someone a second chance just isn’t worth the effort. It doesn’t make you a bad person to say no to people.
The Asshole Tinder Cowboy– Cowboys know they are sexy, and they know every girl finds them sexy…..AVOID AT ALL COSTS!
The Frat Boy – It’s always ok to take risks and go after what you want. You know you tried, even if it doesn’t work out.
I realize it’s been quite some time since I have written about any of my dating escapades. There hasn’t really been a particular reason for this, other than the fact that I guess I haven’t been going on as many dates!?!? I’ve long since given up on all of my online dating apparati. (Apparently the “correct” plural of apparatus is either ‘apparatuses’ or ‘two pieces of apparatus’……I personally think apparati sounds better so that’s what I’m gonna go with!) I believe this is the first blog about a guy I actually had a long relationship with. Of course, long is a relative term, but since all the relationships you’ve read about how been flings or short lived, I’ll consider this to be long.
Ahhh college, it’s a great time. However, it’s also a time where you might make some questionable life choices. I will be the first to admit that college me made some truly questionable choices. Probably one of the most questionable……was ADD 3. I refuse to look back on experiences with regret, because they have brought me to the life I live now. Despite all my “middle class white girl struggles”, I really am loving my life right meow!! Honestly though, if I knew that I would end up in exactly the same place I am now if I could just delete those two years from my life….I would. I’m struggling with how to write this, because it could be quite long, but also because the majority of it was not good or healthy in any way. I’m going to try and provide just enough background that you can grasp the situation I put myself in, and then I’ll try and just focus on the positive things I learned.
Graduating college on the heels of an economic recession isn’t great. You’ve put in tons of time, money, and energy, and done all the things you’d always been told you were supposed to do to be successful. The ending result of all this time and money was that I was unable to find a job, despite all my best effort and hours of filling out seemingly identical applications. I was firmly committed to the belief that moving home would be an admittance of defeat, so I did the next best thing I could think of….I moved in with ADD 3. I knew the sort of jobs that were awaiting me back home…..essentially nothing. I wasn’t willing to admit that sort of defeat, so against the wishes of my family….and probably my friends….I soldiered on with my plan.
After about a week, I didn’t want to be there!! I had already known that ADD 3 had a rather substantial collection of tubs in his basement. One of the perks of dating a guy with a house in college was that I got to do laundry for free….in the basement…..with the tubs. Being the nice, unemployed, “housewife” that I was, I thought I would organize the basement!! Most where garbage……random things….some of his old Army stuff…..and then I found them, TUBS FULL OF VERY NSFW THINGS!!!!!!!!
…………………………………AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH……………….!!!!!!
Somehow, I let him convince me that it would be ok to stay, that we would work it out, and everything would be fine. I think part of me gave in to him because I felt like I had worked so hard and upset so many people by moving in with him in the first place that once again….I was unwilling to accept the defeat that would have been moving out. Something about college me was apparently really into winning at this point….
I eventually got a job where I traveled frequently, so I was around less to put up with his crazy. Yes….he was crazy. Granted, I only know ADD 3 as a PTSD suffering Army veteran. I have no idea who he was or what he was like before he served our country and saw the things he saw. In that sense, I have only the greatest amount of respect for him, his family, and the sacrifices they made. He discovered that he could win any argument by playing the “Army Card”. Honestly, there was never anything I could say or do other than sit there and take whatever random insult he had to throw my way because I could never bring myself to say anything back when he’d play the Army card. You have to remember…..I was younger and stupider then……I’ve grown up a lot….he’s partly to thank.
This basically continued for a year, until he decided to move to Florida….and I was so relieved. I packed up all my stuff, and we drove it to my Dad’s house in Sturgis and honestly….I was happy! I was happy he was moving away, and I was happy that I felt like I had finally found an out. I really thought everything was going to change for me. It did…..but at the same time, it didn’t. I saw him twice more after that moving day in August…..once when he flew to Minneapolis for my birthday that December, and once in the Spring. I….the girl who was so ready to let go of the relationship, just let him continue to have one with me. I didn’t really encourage it, but I didn’t stop it either. I suppose that’s partly to do with being young, and partly because those who are in bad relationships always seem to have a really hard time getting out of them.
Ok….enough of this seeming like a pity party for me….that’s not at all what I want. Again, I don’t regret it. I survived, I’m stronger, and I’m the person I am today because he taught me I didn’t want to be the person he thought I was….AKA a spoiled rotten, Tinker Bell obsessed princess who would never survive on her own because I knew nothing about life. He had a few positive impacts on my life, and that’s were we will end this….the good things.
My relationship with ADD 3 taught me that if you set aside your pride, your family and friends will always be there to support you…..no matter why you think you don’t deserve it
He bought me my glorious pupperoni Scout, who has been with me through everything for the past 5 years
He introduced me to my fabulous hair stylist who I still drive 6 hours to see
He taught me how to play poker…..kinda
When I’m told I can’t do something or I’m not worthy of something, it just pushes me to prove them wrong. So……I guess I should thank him for my new car, paying my own bills, and everything else he ever told me I couldn’t do
He introduced me to Korean food…..which is delicious
Spicy hot ramen is now a favorite lunch food for one of my UBS girls because of him
The night we brought my little Scout-a-rooni home from the shelter. #Adoptdontshop
Could I just say, that I’m not sure there’s anything better than coffee and Netflix in bed on a chilly, grey Saturday morning. I’ve got a curly French twist which is looking gloriously bedheady and I’ve fluffed my comforter into poofy submission. I’m feeling very Carrie Bradshaw this morning!
It’s probably been a month or two now since I saw an article about how JJ Watt is apparently having a horrible time finding a girlfriend. Join the struggle sir! Not that I’m looking for a girlfriend, but ya know what I mean. Sometimes, when we normal people reach out to celebrities, mystical things happen. On the advice of my hairdresser, this is my reach out to my celebrity. So, if any of you have some magical connection to the Watt family, please feel free to pass this along! 🙂
…..and I’m dead…..
Dear Texan,
As a fellow single twenty something, I am well acquainted with the struggle that is the modern dating world. You said in an interview that you were having a hard time separating the sincere women from the fame junkies and gold-diggers. This is my small effort to prove that nice, normal girls are still out there. Well, I mean normal is a relative term obviously, but according to the internet I feel like I can dig on your brand of normal.
You’ve got siblings, and inevitibaly you’ve done weird things together.
I’ve also got some weirdness going on in the sibling department……
Even as a normal girl living in the normal world, I encounter guys all the time who were apparently raised by wild animals, and thus have moral compasses that are slightly……wonky. I can’t imagine the volume of women who throw themselves at you, purely because of who you are and what you do. I’m not trying to throw myself at you, although I’m sure you could catch me like a football! Hahahah, ok that will be my only lame football joke. Truth be told, I’m not generally a huge fan of football. I’m not opposed to it watching the game, and I’d be more than down to watch you play. I do know what you mean about someone only liking you for your job, I mean it would be super weird for someone to want to date me only because I run science experiments on ethanol all day long. Our jobs are part of who we are for sure, but they aren’t the only thing that defines us.
I’m sure that fame brings gold-diggers, which is a whole thing that we normal girls don’t really have to deal with. Do girls really ever have to deal with gold-diggers!? Are guys going after a girl’s money still called gold-diggers?! These are really the struggles of our lives I think, and Kayne didn’t help sort them any. In any case, I think the key to a good relationship is two people who want each other, but don’t need each other to function in the world. I make my own money, pay all my bills on time, and don’t have the time for people who aren’t responsible adults by this point in our lives. I mean really, get it together people!! I know that being an adult is hard, but that’s why God invented Google and YouTube. Find the info you need, and then remember the mantra, “Stupider people than me have done this….therefore I can!”
Dating is really almost the worst thing ever, I get that. In the face of the whole struggle, it’s important to remember that some of us good, Midwestern, traditioanl valued girls are still out there. You’re a Midwestern guy, you know what I’m talking about. Out here on the prairie we are raised to be respectful, work hard, and never forget where you came from and the importance of family and friends! At the end of the day, hard work and a good heart will get you everything you need in life. Atleast that’s what I’m hoping, because that’s what I’m banking on!
Fingers crossed,
MisHappenings
Obviously, this is all in good fun. Hahaha I get that celebrities can’t run around in the real world to meet people. He’d get totally mauled by fans if he ever walked into my local bar of choice. I mean this is Viking country, but people still know him. Plus, I read this morning that he is dating someone. However, I decided to write this anyway cuz it seemed like a fun idea. Good luck on your new relationship my Texan, and hopefully your wrist heals soon. …..yea that’s right, I do pay some attention to sports!
Post breakup music is an important part of any girls emotional process. Maybe dudes think it’s important too….idk I’m not a boy. Sometimes though, finding the right song or artist can be a huge battle. Besides having the inner turmoil of the split, you may also be faced with hard existential questions like, “I’m old, why do I feel like TSwift!?!? I just want to be Adele!” and “Am I sure that these lyrics really get me…..like emotionally right meow!?!?” The struggle very, very real.
Anyone who knows me….or has even been around me with a radio on….knows that I loathe TSwift. Loathe is maybe a bit strong, I mean I won’t always change the station when she comes on, and I will occasionally sing along. Her songs are just so damn catchy…..but sorta stupid……!
I don’t really want to hate, I just keep hoping that her songs will mature. Case in point, I really had some good feels about this one——
He’s so tall, and handsome as hell. He’s so bad, but he does it so well. And when we’ve had our very last kiss, my last request is this…..” – Wildest Dreams
…..heard that and it made me think…..“Gee self, that’s kinda how I feel about the ATC“….and then the song goes on……
……Say you’ll remember me, standing in a nice dress staring at the sunset. Red lips and rosy cheeks, say you’ll see me again…..” – Wildest Dreams
NO!! I’m cutting you off right there TSwift! Don’t remember me, in fact maybe just forget me, and I for sure, don’t ever….ever wanna see you again…….
I suppose I should give credit where credit is due, the girl pumps out a ton of decent, angsty, teenage girl break up songs. This is the problem though….she’s not an angsty teenager anymore, and I’m not either! 28 is looming literally right around the corner, it really causes one to want to grow up. The things that seemed normal when I was younger now just seem exhausting and painful.
I said “I heard, that you’ve been out and about with some other girl?” He said, “What you heard is true but, I can’t stop thinking about you.” – Style
If a guy is ever ballsy enough to tell you they are also dating someone else….DON’T let that boy take you home TSwift!! I remember being a stupid, young girl who thought that every jerkface boyfriend was perfect, and if I just put up with it everything would work out. There’s no reason that we should keep putting ourselves through the pain and drama! Even if you think you’re somehow coming out stronger….you’re not and the suckage factor of the whole situation will eventually sink in. Wildest Dream…you’re out!
I get it, the catchy club jamz and what not. Makes for a good girls night out where all you want to do is drink and dance and forget whoever the asshat was who hurt you. I’ve been there, on one hand wanting to scream that “We, are never ever, ever, ever getting back together,” however it causes me a great deal of post quarter life crisis stress. Sooner or later I’m gonna have to start handling this nonsense better than this!
When you wanna be all cool and angsty…..
…..but this is where your mind goes, cuz you’re not cool and angsty anymore, you’ve got bills to pay!
This moves us to Adele. She, like TSwift, writes about break ups sometimes, but her songs are like powerful, and make you want to be a stronger person. While they aren’t club jams that make you want to dance till your feet fall off, Adele’s songs are deep….it’s like being in AP Poetry at YHS all over again. Adele is maybe the music you listen to once you’ve danced with your girlfriends and the parties over. Adele is for when you’re alone, in your bathtub, drinking wine, and finally letting the feels hit you. Or maybe once you’re a few months removed from the relationship and you’re looking back on all the crap the jerkface put you through.
Adele lyrics like “Use your head, use your head!”
But there’s a side to you that I never knew, never knew. All the things you’d say, they were never, true never true. And the games you play, you would always win, always win.” – Set Fire to the Rain
….this….this is how I should feel about the ATC! I just appreciate that Adele has managed to say, in an adult way, that the ATC is a no good fuck boy. She’s not afraid to admit that someone hurt her, but she’s never going to let them get away with that nonsense. There will be no taking her home just because they are tall and sexy as hell! Adele would never write a song called “Trouble” about how you knew they were trouble from the beginning. Adele would tell that ass hat to go fuck himself…..but politely and in a sneaky sorta way.
I’m educated and well read…..I should have way more respect for Adele’s lyrical prowess! Maybe the problem is that sometimes when you’re feeling emotional, using your brain isn’t what you want. Sometimes you maybe just want a stupid pop song about how stupid boys are. I just want to be an Adele!!! Classy, put together, articulate about my feelings. Why can’t I just embrace my inner diva!? I’ve hosted family holidays! For Pete’s sake, let’s at least try and keep it together shall we?!?! Ugh….self….you disappoint me sometimes! I suppose I should just settle for having the occasional Adele phase where I get all self empowered and enjoy it while it lasts before it gives way to the overarching snarkiness of my life.
Maybe the solution to this inner dilemma is just to ignore the popular break up music all together? Maybe the “This song just really gets me” song isn’t one you hear on the radio all the time? While I do think there is a time and a place for Taylor Swift, Adele, Queen B, Queen Nicki, and all the other female artists that inspire us to embrace the diva within, sometimes the situation calls for something a little bit more bad ass……
On that note, I leave you with my break up song of choice for right now. It makes you want to dance, and you can yell the lyrics at all the fuck boys in your life and still sound fairly articulate, which is a double win! It goes well with boots and shots of whiskey, and frankly if you’re having to deal with some boys shit….boots are helpful for that! They don’t call them shit kickers for no reason!
Oh Paula Cole….I’m not sure what the answer to this question was in the 90’s when you released this song, but after my experiences the past few months, I’d have to say the answer is most certainly to Fuckboy Island. (Although it’s a bad island cuz they all keep escaping and ruining lives) Apparently, the mystical, romantic, John Wayne cowboys I grew up watching on the Western channel with my Grandpa have long since been replaced with douche canoes! That seems to be the general feeling among my girlfriends anyway……
Here’s a little 90’s jam to get you in the mood!
I promised last week that I would write about getting “dumped” although as you’ll come to find out, that probably isn’t the technical term one should use to describe the situation. The more correct term is that I got played….and I got played hard. This, my friends, is a story about trust and gut feelings….and why you should always trust your gut. First impressions rarely ever lie, and if something doesn’t seem right, odds are it isn’t right. I however, being the eternal hopeless romantic and delusional optimist that I am regarding relationships, chose to ignore mine for quite some time.
This ignorance on my part has lead to the final chapter in the saga that is The Asshole Tinder Cowboy. This is going to be a long one, I’m sorry, but I have a lot I feel like I need to try and get off my chest.
I really don’t have trust issues, but as someone who trusts that people are good even when I shouldn’t, you learn this lesson early and often. The key is trying not to let the assholes get you down.
THE REFRESHER COURSE
First things first, let me remind you about my previous feelings regarding the ATC.
Things started off with these feelings of generalized annoyance…..
Random guy who lives in the Hills starts talking to me on Tinder. This leads to him calling me to chat. During one of our chats he starts fighting with me about how horses are so much better for moving cattle than 4-wheelers………and this is his life………and “They’ve done studies…you’re into science you should understand that!” hahah…..yup cuz being a jerk straight outta the gate makes me wanna date you sir.
Shame though, he’s 6’4″ and smokin’ hot!” — Chapter 6: A Festivus in July – The Airing of Grievances
and were quickly followed up by this lovely gem……
Post date, I maybe should retract what I said about the Tinder Cowboy a couple weeks ago……horses are his life and I should maybe not be such a judge-y bitch face all the time……more about that on another day hopefully. He was actually very nice, and still super smokin’ hot good looking!” — #Sturgisorbust
Looking back, and knowing the things I know now, I want to give Chapter 6 me a high five and a prize and smack Sturgis me upside the head. However, like they always say, hindsight is 20/20, so I’ll try and fill in some of the middle to connect you from July to two weeks ago.
STARTING OUT
The ATC and I didn’t have the best relationship straight out of the gate as you’ve may have sensed. But, after I met him for dinner out in Sturgis, things did really start to come around. It was at this point that I started to feel a bit concerned about things. What exactly was I going to do with a cowboy who lived way out in the middle of bum fuck no where?!?! Can one have a relationship with someone you meet on Tinder?!?! Why was he talking to me, a girl living no where near him, of all people?!?! This led to lots of conversations with the Besties…..because I can’t make these decisions on my own ever. He did seem genuinely interested though, and everyone was sort of on the consensus that I should just let it ride for awhile and see what happened. After all, there wasn’t really any harm in talking to him…..if it fizzled so be it.
The ATC and I talked everyday….I mean literally every day! The part that really struck me like this might actually be soemthing serious was that if he knew or thought I was upset about something, he made me talk to him. Even if I was upset about him, he always made sure that we talked about it. No one I’ve ever dated had really ever done that before. I know it seems like an important and normal thing, but for me it was new….and this will give you some insight into the level of jerk that I usually end up dating.
The ATC did cute things too….he’d randomly call me on Skype in the morning when I was getting ready for work so “we can have coffee together before you leave”….stuff like that. Idk….it’s seems stupid and sickening now given the things I know, but at the time it felt cute, and like what someone who cared about you would do when they live 7 hours away. I’m really a sucker for cute, little gestures, I think they speak louder than big, grand things that everyone can see…..but I mean clearly in this case I was so, so wrong.
THE WARNING SIGNS
Things got a bit weird in September. There had been discussions, lots of discussions, about him coming to visit me for a weekend in September. Since this was planned, I kept putting off the “Hey, maybe if we are together you should get your ass off Tinder” conversation because I thought it might go better in person. Also, it felt a bit hypocritical to say something about it because the only reason I knew he was on Tinder was because I was obviously still on Tinder. Everyone seemed to agree that if he like manned up and put his money where his mouth was so to speak we could have the Relationship Talk. Eventually, these plans fell through because according to him someone had quit the ranch and he couldn’t get a Saturday off anymore. Well, one night I was feeling particularly pouty about the whole “the guy I like is still on Tinder” thing, and in his standard fashion he made me talk about it. Part of this talk involved him bringing up that he wasn’t seeing anyone else and that he didn’t want me to see anyone else either. Remember the fact that HE BROUGHT IT UP…..this will become part of the confusion!
We didn’t talk for a few days in September at all, because he “needed time to think”. We had a three hour phone conversation one night about where things were going (which included the Tinder issue), and I believed that he was sincere. After all, if you didn’t want to talk to me anymore, I live several hours away and realistically I’d never see him again unless we planned it. I would be the easiest girl to slow fade on if you wanted to ditch someone, and there were several times were I gave him the opportunity to leave free and clear….but he never did. Even during the 3 hour phone call, I kept asking if he just wanted to not talk to me anymore….like would that just be easier for us both…..and he kept saying that he didn’t want that. In hindsight I have no idea why he didn’t want that…..probably the answer is just that he’s a world class asshole!
We did start talking again because in his words, “I don’t know what I want exactly, but I know I don’t want to not talk to you.” Again, I believed him, because relationships…especially long distance ones….are confusing and take a lot of work. Turns out that he probably didn’t want to talk to me that weekend because he was having friends….AND HIS GIRLFRIEND……up for his birthday. I had noticed a girl commenting about how she was “excited to see his face!!” on Facebook, but I let it go because I didn’t want to be jump to conclusions girl. Plus, she was friends with his mom and sister on Facebook and super chatty with them, so I thought maybe she was just a girl he knows….I mean he’s allowed to know girls….I’m not that sort of girl. I even straight up asked him if we hadn’t been talking because of another girl, and he got all “that’s how you’re going to connect those dots?!?!” on me about it……
It really takes a special kind of asshole to pull all the things the ATC did. Kudos to him I guess for keeping us all juggled properly though….seems like a shit load of work to be honest. I never got a text that was out of place or meant for someone other than me. Believe me when I say I’ve been around the block with the signs of cheating, and this was pretty free and clear of those signals……….
SLAP BACK TO REALITY
I had been needing to take a trip out West River anyway, my hair is in need of some serious High Maintenance Salon TLC. So I found a weekend where the ATC wasn’t busy working, and scheduled myself a hair appointment. The plan was that I’d spend some time in Rapid with friends, and then spend part of the weekend up on the ranch with him. HE MADE PLANS WITH ME….UGH!!!!! I was just sitting at work the other week being all excited and antsy to go see him when something popped up on Facebook that changed things.
I didn’t go looking for any of this, after all I was really trying to be trusting and I believed that he was sincere. He might have been, but he was also being super sincere with his girlfriend….the Rodeo Princess. I don’t mean that in a bad way, it’s just that creeping informed me that she is in fact a rodeo princess. She’s actually the same girl that I had weird feelings about over his birthday when we stopped talking, and that he totally denied. The only reason I found out about any of this Behind the Scenes action was that she had posted several things about the ATC on Facebook, and because he commented on them, they happened to appear in my feed. Thank goodness, because as much as it was a slap in the face, he was just going to let me come see him like I was the only girl for him.
THE FALLOUT
I’ve been cheated on a lot in my dating life, sadly for me that’s nothing new. However, I have never….ever been the “other women”. I make a point to avoid that at all costs because I know how shitty being hurt by someone that you trust is. After sending a Facebook note to the Rodeo Princess and fielding an “I’m so sorry I fucked up” phone call from the ATC I discovered that I was in the fact the other women. The ATC and the Princess had been together since APRIL she informed me. To her credit, she was very polite to me about the whole thing, and didn’t blame me for any of it. Not everyone would have been like that I don’t think.
Her relationship status is now single, but she’s still friends with the ATC and his family on Facebook. I promptly deleted him because I don’t need that sort of shit in my life dragging me down. If she wants to keep his cheating ass be my guest. Here’s the thing Princess…..if he was faithful and decent to you he would have never met me on Tinder, and he certainly wouldn’t have started a relationship with me. I’m sure I’m not the first girl he cheated on you with, and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the last. Also, I’m not sure that “being more cowboy than you thought” is a good reason to be a complete scum bag……but he’s all yours darling, I don’t want him.
THE RANT
Here’s the thing Asshole, no one….and I mean no one on the face of the planet…..has ever woken up one day and been like “oops….look at all the girlfriends I accidentally collected….I have no idea how this happened!” You don’t get to sit there on the phone and play the “I’m confused, I’m sorry I fucked up, and I didn’t mean to hurt you” card…..only Ronald Weasley gets to look that confused about what’s happening, because he’s adorable and not an asshole. You sir…..are no Ron Weasley!!
How did I collect all these women?!?!”–No one ever
I don’t care about how fucked up and shitty your life was before you left home. It makes no difference to me that your mom is on crazy pills and your dad is a drunk cowboy. Also I’m throwing the bullshit flag on girls never noticing you and that giving you anxiety….you’re too good looking for girls to ignore honestly. If you play with people’s emotions you don’t get to throw a pity party for yourself! If the only things you’re capable of saying are dumb lies, I don’t care to hear it. If you understand that your life has been so awful, rise above it and do something! Everyone has problems, issues, and a past, I for one, strive not to be defined by mine.
Also…there’s no way you can be sorry. You’re not sorry you were trolling around on Tinder in July and found me, you’re not sorry you didn’t end it any of the times when I was having weird feelings about the whole situation, you’re not sorry that it when too far……YOU’RE ONLY SORRY YOU GOT CAUGHT! The most sickening, confusing, and assholish thing to me is that you were going to let me come see you! When I called to say that we hadn’t been talking as much as we used to, and things felt weird, and that I didn’t know if I wanted to come up and stay with you….you got mad at me, and told me that you didn’t know how I could feel that way and that you just wanted to see me and blah blah blah blah blah.
The worst part is that I wanted so much to believe you. I told my coworker that you were either the least assholish guy I knew or you were going to be the biggest asshole on the planet. I didn’t see how there could be any grey area. So thank you for proving me right! You ended up not only being not the person I thought you were, but the worst incarnation of the person I was hoping you weren’t. Everything that spewed out of your gorgeous face was a huge lie. As much as you sat on every phone call, Skype date, and texting exchange and told me how sincere you were about everything….you weren’t. There’s no way you could have been. My all time favorite was when, on several occasions, you flat out told me “I’d never lie to you”. Well….you did….for months!
THE AFTERMATH
This isn’t the first time a relationship has fallen apart, and it probably will not be the last. It is kinda the first time that something like this has just come up and slapped me across the face though. I will be the first to admit that I had done a fair amount of creeping around and trying to investigate things and I never really found anything…..other than the Rodeo Princess stuff I talked about. He was always so willing to talk about everything that it seemed like a lot of undo effort if he was trying to hide something.
I’ll never understand, and that’s the part that bugs me the most. My analytical personality just doesn’t like loose ends, problems I can’t solve, and issues I can’t resolve. The whole experience has left me feeling just a bit blah. I’m not sad, I’m not even really angry. I’m hurt and I feel a bit like an idiot. I think it hurts the most because even though I didn’t know him long, I felt like I could just be myself around him. I don’t often have that feeling with the people I date, which is probably why my relationships never work out. The bestie always says if I can’t talk to the guy the way I talk to her it isn’t meant to be. For all the ATC flaws…..and basically all he is is flaws, I at least felt like I could be totally myself when I talked to him. If I was upset, I could be upset….and he understood that. I think that’s probably why it hurts the most, because I really did try and be open and honest with him even though it made me nervous, and he just sorta threw it all back in my face.
Don’t think for one minute that I’m going to let the ATC ruin my upcoming West River weekend! Plans have been adjusted, and the hair change I planned might end up being a bit more dramatic now, but honestly, it might be a bit more fun now! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind a little time on a ranch, but if I’m honest with myself that’s never a life I’m going to live. It would have ended eventually, and probably better sooner rather than later. I had an epic life before the ATC, and it can only get better from here!
At the end of the day….this. Every hour of everyday….just this!
I did write a brief little blurb about this guy in Chapter 6: A Festivus in July – The Airing of Grievances, but I took several chances with this guy that were super out of character for me so it probably deserves some more attention. Plus, it’s been a long, long time coming. Pour yourself some wine, cuz we are both gonna need it, and tuck in cuz this is a long one!
Where to start, where to start…….
————————————————-Rewind 9 Years———————————————-
It might not be quite 9 years ago that I first saw the Sig, but at some point I saw him at college, and decided he would be mine. Ya know in The Notebook when Noah first sees Allie and just like decides she’s gonna be his?? I was sorta like that with the Sig, except that I never worked up enough courage to do anything about it. I’m not sure that we ever even spoke when I was in school!! I would see him often, particularly junior and senior year because….I partied at his fraternity more and he used to walk past my apartment to get to campus.
Those were always the best days!! The Sig, in his baseball cap, nice jeans, and boots…..and me……gawking and drinking my coffee while being all girly crush like on the inside.
Actually speaking to the Sig was my personal equivalent of hanging off a ferris wheel…..so obviously I never did it…..which I think says a lot about my level of verbal self control while drunk! Sober thoughts are not drunk actions for this chica!
The high point of my non existent relationship with the Sig was one night during a blizzard. I had just been dumped and I was over hanging with the girls. They decided that the key to fixing my problems was a night of drinking at the frat, so we walked the 2-3 blocks down to the house in cute clothes….cuz ya know the Sig lived there! To celebrate the snow, the guys had put a couch on skis and were pulling it around the deserted, snow covered streets with a 4-wheeler. So obviously, we spent most of the night getting covered in snow, whipping shitties through the streets and parking lots on campus.
I imagine when we got back to the house the three of us looked a bit like drowned rats. I know for a fact that I had eyeliner and mascara running all down my face……super attractive I know! The guys did eventually take pity on us and let us change into dry clothes…….and you’ll never guess who’s clothes I got! Haha although I don’t think he spoke to me, and if he did I was so awe struck with the possibility of wearing his sweatpants that I have no idea what he might have said.
If you’re gonna do slightly dangerous things, it’s best to do them with a Ref and a Traffic Cone. Safety First!!!! For some reason that snowy night, we were missing a cone……
After the Great Sweatpant Incident, I had no other personal interactions with the Sig until well after graduation. Yes, I saw him around, but I never got that close to speaking to him again. He always looked crabby at the parties I saw him at, and it didn’t really encourage interaction. I have since discovered that the reason he always looked annoyed at parties was because he was always sober. Kudos to you sir for living in a frat and not drinking! He decided that school was for school and not for partying, and that’s certainly a commitment I didn’t make.
———————————————-Flash to Summer 2013———————————————–
I was in the hills being a wedding date for my then boyfriend, and who should walk in, but the Sig! Ugh, I literally could have died. I was having a shit time at the wedding, the boyfriend was being a huge assface that night, but then in he walked in those fancy jeans, those same boots, and a white button down with perfectly rolled sleeves.
……………hold on please, I’m having an epic flashback…………..
Here’s a very blurry picture of a slightly tipsy me at the wedding before I stumbled into the Sig and his glorious country boy goodness.
I may have gone as far as telling the boyfriend that I would leave him for the Sig in a heartbeat. To further enhance the drunk, wedding awkwardness……I most def walked past the Sig, whilst taking off my heels, and just said “Hey, I think I know you?!?!?”……AND JUST KEPT WALKING!! I’m sure if he did recognize me he thought I was a complete nut job. He did show up at the post reception party at the only bar in Keystone, and I had to spend the rest of the evening watching him play pool and drink beer while I kept getting abandoned by the boyfriend and subsequently adopted by his best friend. It wasn’t the best time ever, and that relationship with the boyfriend should have probably ended that weekend. It didn’t, but that’s a whole different story.
Also, this pic is giving me serious envy of dark haired me…..bring on the fall please! If anyone has any fall time hair suggestions, lay them on me!
—————————————–>
———————————————–Flash to Winter 2014————————————————
I don’t really recall the series of events that inspired me to send the Sig a random, outta the blue Facebook message, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea. Because I can’t handle that sorta pressure on my own, I most def wrote the message and then sent it to all of my friends for approval before I sent it to him. I finally sent the Sig the message the night before I was headed out to the Hills for several days over New Years. I then proceeded to lie on my bedroom floor while my friends sent me Facebook messages to make my cellphone chime and send me into full on panic attacks!!
Hey, So I get that this is totally random…but….I’ve had a crush on you forever, and decided that it’s a new year and I should maybe do something about it!?!?! Anyway, I’ll be running around this weekend in the hills. Let me know if you’re up for drinks.
And then…..he wrote back!
You had best believe that I didn’t read that message right away. There might have been a shot involved….ya know……to better deal with the potential let down that could have occurred.
But, he didn’t let me down!!!!
It was agreed that we would meet up New Year’s Eve in Deadwood, because we were both going to be there already. Actually, he didn’t notice us standing in the bar, and I was being a stubborn brat and ignoring him. By this point I figured that I had maybe put in enough effort to find him, and I didn’t want to give off the “lost puppy” vibe. So, I wouldn’t have even talked to him except that Lil B went bounding on over and asked if he was looking for me. I’m sorta glad she did, cuz approximately 5 minutes later, I got a midnight kiss that rivaled even the best romance movie.
We actually ended up hanging out a few more times that weekend, and he did eventually figure out that I had been the “girl in the purple lace dress” at the wedding. It really sorta felt like everything might actually work out for me on this one, and Chan even started writing the story we would tell our kids and grandkids about how we first met, and our perfect first kiss. We may have also discussed a wedding reception complete with a first dance song…..because Chan and I are nothing if not hopelessly romantic at heart. Plus, I was snowed in at her house Superbowl weekend, and it was a topic that needed to be covered.
———————————————-Flash to the Present————————————————
…….and then I had to come back home from the Hills, and it all sorta just went up in flames. But, it wasn’t a quick burn like pulling off a bandaide and moving on with your life. It was a long, slow, smolder-y burn that always left just enough hope that everything might end up ok.
It was always sorta ok, until it wasn’t……
It was ok until he started driving to see me, got halfway here, and turned around………
It was ok until I was out there twice, and he was way too cool to come see me……….
It was ok until it had been 8 months and it started to feel like I was acting like a “lost puppy”………..
It was ok until the day I told him I wanted to see him, and he went on a rant about priorities………
It’s ok though, because at the end of the day life goes on, and I learned something about myself. I learned that I really enjoy red dirt country, and that sometimes I can be brave and do the things that are out of character me.
After nearly a decade, it was totally worth sending the Sig that Facebook message if only to say that I took the chance. His favorite quote of the weekend we hung out was, “If I’d known you liked me I would have done this a long time ago.” Well, here’s the thing sir…..you didn’t….I did! Even though it didn’t work out, I’m glad I took the chance, atleast now I know that Randy Rodger’s Band and Reckless Kelly are my new country jamz!
I will probably never tell our grandkids about how we first met, our perfect first kiss, or dance to Randy Rodgers at our wedding. Other than the fact that it ruins Chan’s epic story, it’s ok. The one weekend and 7 months of texting was enough. Sometimes it’s better to leave people the way you imagine them to be.
Any Seinfeld fans in the house?!? Yes….no……..maybe……well I’m doing this anyway.
If you’ve watched Seinfeld around the holidays, you’ve probably seen the Costanzas celebrate Festivus. Festivus was apparently the brain child of the father of Seinfeld writer Dan O’Keefe, and the O’Keefes started celebrating the holiday in 1966. I have no idea what year my father discovered Festivus, but I do know that we did celebrate it one year….complete with a metal pole in the middle of the living room. Ahhh, nothing like a Festivus of the rest of us!
My Dad hated decorating for Christmas…..particularly the lights. This is extra fitting.
Festivus is comprised of several activities: the declaration of Festivus miracles, the feats of strength, and the airing of grievances. I’ve decided to take advantage of the time of year to air some personal grievances. These will be related to recent dates I’ve been on, people I’ve seriously attempted to date, or just people who’ve annoyed me lately. They aren’t really involved enough to demand their own chapters, but they are dudes that you might want to hear about.
Car Builder Dude
This is the guy that many of you asked about when I said a few weeks ago that I went on a date. Short story long……the date did not have the desired effect. I really don’t know why, and honestly I don’t really care. But this is what I don’t understand…… Why dude, would you kiss me in the parking lot if you didn’t want to see me again!? Now say what you will about kissing people in parking lots…..that’s a different issue. I’ve been on plenty a date where I didn’t want to see the person again. Just cut your losses and leave dude! Don’t be all confusing with the signals…… I shouldn’t have to consult friends post date to figure out what it is you were trying to accomplish!
The Sig Who Got Away
I don’t even know where to start with this one. Honestly, this has been going on since January, and he could probably be his own chapter. I might do a whole chapter on him in the future, but for now I’m angry and annoyed and this is what I’m doing.
There is a guy I went to college with who I have always….I mean always wanted to date. I finally worked up enough courage to talk to him just before New Year’s, and we spent a few nights hanging out while I was in the Hills in January. Flash forward SEVEN MONTHS, one trip by me back to the Hills, and two failed efforts on his part to drive here……I still haven’t seen him again, and I’m done. Actually what lead me to being done was him not showing up the second time. I mentioned I was getting a feeling that he wasn’t that into me, we sorta had a texting fight, I apologized, we talked once more and then radio silence from him. Fine dude…..after 7 months just drop off the face of the plant……..see if I care. (……I actually kinda care…..but he doesn’t need to know that)
The Tinder Cowboy Asshole
This one is short and sweet and should not be confused with the Firefighter Cowboy from Chapter 1!
Random guy who lives in the Hills starts talking to me on Tinder. This leads to him calling me to chat. During one of our chats he starts fighting with me about how horses are so much better for moving cattle than 4-wheelers………and this is his life………and “They’ve done studies…you’re into science you should understand that!” hahah…..yup cuz being a jerk straight outta the gate makes me wanna date you sir.
Shame though, he’s 6’4″ and smokin’ hot!
The Tinder Dog Walk Dude
Yea….obviously Tinder isn’t the way to go about this.
Dude….if you make plans with me and then don’t remember when I ask about it…….don’t expect me to call you.
I’m not that desperate for a guy.
You haven’t even proven yourself to be worth any amount of my effort really
I’m not hanging out with you after you done “meeting the guys for beers”…..
Mid-Life Crisis Corvette Dude
This actually has nothing to do with a guy I even know, just some random who I encountered on my drive home Tuesday night.
I’m sorry sir that you have having some sort of crisis in your life….but rolling around with the top down, in a man tank, blasting TI’s Whatever You Like is not the answer!! Also, don’t be that creepy dude singing “I want your body, need your body” to girls at red lights……just…..don’t…… It’s weird, we don’t like it, and it’s certainly not gonna make me want to get in your car.
Graduating college on the heels of an economic recession isn’t great. You’ve put in tons of time, money, and energy, and done all the things you’d always been told you were supposed to do to be successful. The ending result of all this time and money was that I was unable to find a job, despite all my best effort and hours of filling out seemingly identical applications. I was firmly committed to the belief that moving home would be an admittance of defeat, so I did the next best thing I could think of….I moved in with ADD 3. I knew the sort of jobs that were awaiting me back home…..essentially nothing. I wasn’t willing to admit that sort of defeat, so against the wishes of my family….and probably my friends….I soldiered on with my plan.
(Mis)Happenings of a 20 Something 