Eau de Swamp Butt

So, I have a smelly dog.  In my experience some dogs are smellier than others, and Scout is just smelly.  She never really smells like anything, mostly just like dog.  When the dogginess gets to be a bit too much, I force her into a bath.  Baths make her wet, fluffy, and generally annoyed.  She doesn’t enjoy them, and at best….she tolerates them.  For some reason, she hates outside bathes the most.  She has gotten a bit more tolerant of bathes at the new house as long as I get in the shower with her.  We’ve now even gotten to the point where she will get in the shower of her own accord.  It’s a special skill to heave a struggling, 75 pound dog into a shower or tub when she doesn’t want to go, and I’m glad I don’t have to do that anymore!

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A pissed off, flurry, damp, Lewis and Clark want to be. This is what happens after tub time, she gets so annoyed she won’t even look at me until I appease her with treats!

 

Last weekend at Main Squeeze’s…..something happened.  I’m not sure what exactly happened, but Scout was fine one minute, then came back into the house with Jeter smelling awful!  Like an awful mix of 100% humidity day swamp butt (don’t act like you don’t know what that smell is), molding gym bag, and something dead!  It was toxic!!  Like she’s gotten into some awful things, but this was maybe the worst.  Nope…..I take that back.  The time I had to give her multiple bathes and a shot of Febreeze all in the same evening was the worst.  That makes swamp butt/moldy death a close runner up.  I’m thinking that Jeter had something to do with it, but who really knows.  Two weekends ago, Scout rolled in poop…..multiple times…..after I yelled at her about it.  She’s not the brightest little bulb sometimes, and that makes her second bath in two weeks.  UGH!

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Who would imagine that this cute little face could end up being fatally smelly!?!

The removal of the swamp butt was made complicated by the fact that Scout hates….HATES…..having her face washed.  I try and be a very careful Momma and keep the water and soap outta her eyes, ears, and nose, but sometimes her squirming makes the impossible.  This particular flavor of stink necessitated a double round of face scrubbing which I’m sure lead to some water logged ears, so now she’s doubly annoyed with me.  We are usually all up in each other’s faces, and I will tolerate a pretty substantial level of dogginess before I’ll give her a bath, but this was too much for even me.  Plus, we are having company this weekend, and I doubt they want a smelly fur baby running around.

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I refuse to cuddle up with swamp butt…..you’d think she would learn!

 

So Yea…..

…..I didn’t get a blog written this week. I meant to, but school and life got the best of me. I thought I could write one while I was in Omaha this weekend, but that got away from me too. So instead, I spent my time hanging with the Main Squeeze, grilling out, and generally being lazy.

Next week I will do better, but I will leave you with this little fun fact. I decided that I was finally adult enough to get to and from Main Squeeze’s house without my GPS. Not that I really know what roads I’m on, but I thought I had a pretty good handle on the overall route. My plan was going well until they decided to close my way outta town. So alas, I had to fire up the map app to get me headed in the right direction. Maybe next time I can make a GPS free trip. Maybe that’s just the hazard of living in the big city!?

Quick and Creative Ramen Bowls

Cup o’ noodles and 10 cent ramen packs….cheap, not delicious, and not great for you.  If college me had known how easy it was to make homemade bowls, I would have skipped the store bought packages all the time!

I’ve never had actual ramen noodles, like at a restaurant, but I’ve seen pictures and it looks amazeballs!!  Huge, steaming bowls of broth with noodles, spices, meat, and an egg.  These are a easy, packable, quick and easy version that is perfect for a quick dinner or a packable lunch.  You can take this base and run with it.  Make them as simple or complex as you’d like.  These could easily be made gluten free, vegetarian, vegan, meat lovers……basically your wish is this bowls command!

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What You Need

  • Ramen Noodles – The brown rice noodles come in 4 prepackaged servings per box and are gluten free!

What I Add

  • Veggies – I use corn, kale, carrots, and sometimes bell pepper.  Whatever you have on hand would be good.  I chop my baby carrots in a food processor, or the pre shredded carrots would also work.
  • Chicken Stock Base
  • Eggs – Most traditional ramen bowls contain an egg even if other protein is added.
  • Spices – I like wasabi, salt and pepper in mine.  Red pepper flakes would add some nice spice, I just never have any in the house! 😦

Other Things You Could Add

  • Meat – Chicken, beef, or pork would all be delicious.  Just make sure they are cooked through before adding to the bowls
  • Fun Flavors – Thai chilies, ginger root, Chinese five spice, a nice splash of soy sauce, fish sauce…..really any of your favorite Asian flavors could really only enhance the dish.  The beauty of making these at home is that you can really experiment and find your perfect flavor combination!

The best part about these bowls is they only use one pot to prep!  One small pot of water is all you need!

Boil the water and then removed from heat.  Add your package of noodles, stir, and then let sit about 5 minutes or until the noodles are softened.

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Stare into the pot and see your future, and the future is delicious!

I just use chop sticks to pull the noodles out and place them in the bottom of a microwave safe container.  If you keep the water in the pot it means you only need to heat it once, and that just saves time.  Plus…..Reduce, Reuse, Recycle!

Return your pot to the burner and turn the heat down slightly.  Once it’s simmering again, swirl vigorously and slide in an egg to start poaching.  My experience with the Spicy Sweet Potato Hash taught me that I like a sort of medium poach on my eggs so that the yolks are just set, but they are still bright yellow and slightly custardy.  Takes about 5-7 minutes depending on the size of egg.  Just gently pluck them out and poke them till you feel like they feel set to your liking.  Also, they will cook a bit more when you heat your bowl, so they can be slightly undercooked for this to start with.

While the egg is cooking away, I add my veggies, a generous teaspoon of stock base, and a nice amount of wasabi to my bowl.  This would be a great time to slash in some soy, toss in some spicy peppers, or grate in some ginger.  Once the egg is done add it the bowl, and I top mine with lots of black pepper and a small dash of salt.  That’s it!  Trow in the fridge for later if you want, or give in and eat right away!

When you’re ready to eat, this is how I prep them.  Add water to just cover the noodles and then toss in the microwave for about a minute or two covered to heat and soften the veggies.  Remove, stir, and enjoy!  If you have access to boiling water, you could probably get away without the microwave, but that’s all I have at work and it works out just fine.

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Trying to Think Happy Thoughts

I’m not sure why, but lately I’ve been feeling very squishy and down on myself.  Usually, I’m pretty confident about myself and the work I put into looking and feeling the way I do.  One of my first posts ever  was about appreciating the body I have!!  UGH….  Lately though, I’m not sure if I’m regressing, or just not making the gains in strength I feel like I should……but I’m feeling super blob-tastic.

 

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This is a Heffalump……I’ve really been feeling lately like I’m one with the Heffalumps.  Plus side, at least Heffalumps are adorable!

 

I almost feel like I had a better relationship with my body and the way I looked BEFORE I started working out and focusing on cleaning up my diet and lifestyle.  I used to be really proud of my “non thigh gap” thighs and my cute “I used to be a ballerina” butt.  These ads used to make me feel like it was ok not to be stick thin, but lately they just haven’t had the same effect.

 

….now I just feel like the time and effort is all for nothing.

I have never….ever……in my whole life……at my squishiest…..had any qualms about jumping into a bikini and chilling by the pool or on the beach.  Now, with a vacation scheduled with the Main Squeeze in July, I suddenly feel like I need to eat carrot sticks, celery, and water until we leave.  It’s all totally ridiculous, and I know that.  I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m not looking my best.  Also, the more I think about these things, plan meals, schedule workouts, and generally bust ass trying to get my ass rounder, my stomach flatter, and my arms buffer……the worse I feel!

I ordered a new swim suit for the vaca, and it was just a total let down.  Probably due to the fact that bikinis look much better with a tan….which the SoDak winter doesn’t really allow anyone to have.  Also, I had been feeling like I was looking really good, until I realized that my butt doesn’t look like an Angel’s butt.  I felt like I had been living with delusions of skinniness, and they all came crashing down.  In my brain I was quite sure that my butt looked just like theirs, until I turned around and saw it in the mirror.

So, this is my new plan.  I’m going to chalk my March mind set up to a late onset case of Seasonal Affective Disorder, and start fresh in April!  I’m gonna focus more on making myself feel better, and get back to being confident in myself.   Being me is pretty awesome.  Look at all the things my body has and will continue do for me!!

I can make my body do all sorts of things that some people only wish they could do.  I need to learn to be more grateful for my body….which includes it’s flaws.

When all else fails, sometimes it’s nice to look back at old pics.  It’s nice to see how far you’ve come.  I find it especially helpful, because it reminds me that I’ve always been comfortable and confident in my own skin, and nothing, not even being pasty white in a bikini, should change that.

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Florida 2011….my at my squishiest

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New Years Eve 2012 with the BFF…..and Spanx

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Halloween 2014….same dress, no Spanx

 

To start April off on a good note, I got to spend the weekend with my Main Squeeze, some bull riding, and homemade pizza night.  Ringing in the month with dinner with Momma and the Squeeze and a couple PBRs guilt free felt like a really good start to getting back to my old self!