Chapter 15: The Ghost of Batman

Since I have somewhat depressingly become a single, twenty something again that means the return of dating.  As much as I hate dating, I’m often reminded that prince charming is not going to just spontaneously arrive at my front door and therefore….I need to sometimes leave the comfort of my couch.  After all…..

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Since I’m trying to be good with the budget, and since I’m saving lots of pennies for a major purchase…. 🙂 ….. I decided to give Tinder another whirl.  Why….why do we keep doing things we know are stupid in the hopes that “Oh, maybe it’s mystically gotten better!”  It hasn’t…..please don’t go conduct your own research, I’m here to do that for you.  I present to you….the steps you should follow on tinder to avoid this kind of situation in your life!

However, one night, I thought I had found the mystical tinder unicorn!  He was tall, good looking, never been married, well educated, no kids…….was looking promising.  We started texting and things seemed to be going well.  He’s funny, clever, easy to have a conversation with, and didn’t have bad grammar.  Note to dudes of the world…..maybe try and be on your best grammatical behavior the first few texts?  I know I make grammar and typo errors…..but I’ve gotten some tinder messages that are almost down right unreadable!

What u up to

–Because adding in atleast an ‘r’ and a ‘?’ was gonna be way too much effort…..

Hey how it goin

–Oh ya know…..it’s going….away from you!

So, “Batman” and I texted for a few days and decided that we should go out and get drinks.  I will point out that at this point I knew he had gotten a Batman robe for Christmas, but he said it was from his brother and I just figured it was some kind of gag gift or like White Elephant thing or whatever…..because ya know….I just made assumptions.  Step 1: Never make assumptions.

So Date Day arrived.  I was excited, the girls at work were excited.  And then….he cancelled.  This almost immediately sent us into a flurry of online research trying to learn more about him.  I’d like to say that we are all twenty something girls and that’s just what we’ve been conditioned to do in the face of adversity, but our office manager….who sorta led the charge…..isn’t a twenty something.  But she has two twenty something kids so that makes her an honorary member?!  I think yes!

In googling, we discovered his ex girlfriend.  We also discovered that his ex girlfriend had been at Christmas with his family.  (This occurred the week between Christmas and New Years)  Needless to say, we dug pretty deep around Facebook, and found out some less than stellar things.  Everyone told me to leave it alone but I, being the somewhat bitchy, no bullshit, and impatient person that I am, sent the girl a Facebook message.  Now many of you don’t know, but it takes me maybe 7-9 mins to get from the office back to my house.  Before I had even made it home, she had texted him and he had texted me all pissy that I had talked to her.  Well……maybe don’t be on Tinder when you’re cuddled up to your ex girlfriend in your Facebook profile picture?!?  It doesn’t give off the “I’m single and ready to mingle” sorta vibe to say the least.  I figured that was the end of us talking, lost another one to being an asshole, and moved on with life.  Step 2:  Always trust your gut.

I didn’t think much of him until I was on my way to see my cousins for New Years Eve.  I started getting texts from him about how he was really a nice guy,he wasn’t trying to lead anyone on or be sneaky, he’s totally single and she’s seeing someone else, and he was sorry for the misunderstanding.  Against my better judgment, and in total disregard of Step 2, I agreed to meet him for drinks New Years Day night.  I was home alone after having to cut my weekend cousin party short due to weather anyway…..might as well go out and do something right?!

Show up for drinks….he’s in a super hero t-shirt.  Granted he does have a button down over the top of it, but you can still see the super hero beneath.  Now in talking to him I had started to realize that he was a big fan of the super hero, and I mean we all have to have our thing.  But……really…..on a first date?!  While on the date I also discovered that he has the Batman symbol tattooed on his wrist.  Couple thoughts…..I find that to be a very feminine place to get a tattoo, possibly just because I know a lot of girls with tattoos there and not very many guys, and second……why Batman?!  I don’t know a ton about super hero and comics and whatever but isn’t Batman considered to be sorta the dud amongst them?!?  Someone more well versed in these things can feel free to offer up opinions and explanations.

The date went well…..or so I thought.  He was pretty much as expected; tall, good looking, funny, clever, he kept up drink for drink with me which is impressive, well educated, and well traveled.  We basically only left the bar because they were closing down and we had to leave.  I wasn’t even home yet when he texted saying what a great time he had and how he wanted to see me again.  A couple texts later we had agreed to meet again Wednesday night.  Nothing specific, just pencilled in Wednesday night plans.  This all seemed well and good….UNTIL I NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN! Step 3:  If they have to apologize and tell you they aren’t an asshole before you’ve even met them….they are probably an asshole!

Now, I’d understand if we had gone on a date and he just wasn’t feeling it and we never went out again.  That’s cool, it happens….no big deal what so ever.  But why would you ever go out of your way to make second date plans with someone and then just fall off a cliff?!  What even is the point of that?!  I suppose much like “How many licks does it take to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop?” the answer is of course, “The world may never know….”

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Thoughts on Winter Driving

I’ve spent the last few weekends driving here, there, and everywhere…..and I have some thoughts to share with the world.  These might be most relevant to people living in South Dakota, but anyone living in a snowy climate will be able to relate.  This should be especially helpful given the looming winter storm!

First–I know that when it’s blowing snow and nasty outside it can get a bit hard to see the road.  I know that this can cause a certain amount of nervous energy to develop.  However, turning on your brights is not going to make anything clearer!  Instead you’re just going to blind and annoy the drivers around you, and you’re going to experience something akin to the Millennium Falcon entering warp speed!

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While cool and geeky….this isn’t exactly the view you want when you’re trying to keep the car between the icy lines!

 

Second–I don’t know what sort of mystical meteorological forces are at work in the Northeast corner of South Dakota, but why is Summit always such a Bermuda triangle of weather?!

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“Yes, back from Bermuda and the Century, heh heh. And believe me, you can have it. One big, modern mess!”

Merlin knows what’s up!  Was he in the tropics….was he in Summit…..no one will ever really know for sure.  But seriously, it could be sunny from here to Canada but Summit will be raining.  Why?!  I know it’s something to do with elevation or some such science-y thing, but that still doesn’t change the fact that it’s always crappy and unpleasant.

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If you’ve travelled Eastern South Dakota in winter, odds are you’ve been stuck at this gas station a time or two….the Summit Coffee Cup!

Third–Don’t for one second assume that Western South Dakota is immune from weird weather patterns.  There is a small corner of the interstate down by the Interior exit which is always crappy!  I had bone dry roads the whole way out to the Hills the other weekend except for that corner and up to Wall.  Nearly every time I drove home for school it was crappy.  Last year I had white out conditions there on the way to New Years!  Hail in the summer, snow in the winter, it’s always crummy driving.

Welcome to Interior      “The Summit of the West!”

–I clearly should have been in marketing!

Fourth–Do you ever experience road envy?!  Like when your side of the interstate is snow covered, blowing, and icky but you can see that cars on the other side are driving in both lanes on dry road.  It’s the worst!  I’m sure it just has to do with how the wind is blowing or whatever, but it’s still super annoying.  You’re trapped in some sort of car caravan because there’s safety in numbers and people headed away from you are just driving like they don’t have a care in the world.

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Sometimes you’re the mouse….sometimes you’re Scar I guess.

 

 

Birth Control 101

Now, I’m not sure that that’s an accurate description of my weekend, but Lil B informs me that it is.  I’ve been in the Hills with Lil B and her girls since Thursday night.  We’ve done all sorts of things, but it’s been a more adult weekend then most I spend out here. No concerts, bar hopping, or hangovers this time around.  This time we did “mom” things…..but there was wine, because there is always wine!

Friday morning, we dropped the girls off at school before going to lunch and doing some shopping.  You can’t drink and do face masks at night if you don’t have masks…..so we needed a trip to the store for the necessities.

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Lunch may or may not have involved a drink…..what else are two girls supposed to do on a Friday afternoon!?

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Our “Mom Line” school pick up game is strong!

Friday night we made spaghetti and cookies because growing swimmers need good carb fuel for swim meets. In possibly my least favorite part of the weekend, we did makeovers before bed. The girls were very concerned about my ability to find a boyfriend, so they decided to glam me up. I had glitter in my eyeballs and lipgloss formed a nice film all over my teeth and the inside of my mouth.

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Boyfriend hunting pro tip…..wear blush as foundation and blind them with glitter everywhere else!

 

Saturday and Sunday, Lil B and I spent the mornings reliving our youths by becoming swim team moms. Gone are the days of our racing suits when someone else organized our snacks and got us out of bed for weekend meets. We were now those moms, and we rocked it! Nothing got lost, left behind, or forgotten, and we weren’t late. Her daughter did awesome for her first swim meet!

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I love the calm that is a flat pool before the meet starts.

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We of course had to eat some of my favorite foods while I was out. Lewis’s burgers on Saturday after the swim meet, a fresh stock of Philly Ted’s, and ice cream tonight to celebrate a successful first swim meet!  We also swung past the BFB’s parents house to chat and drop off some dilly beans and poppy seed bread. Poppa got us all copies of the Reckless Kelly concert set list for Christmas, and I’m pretty excited about it!! 🙂

Tomorrow, I’ll make one last swing through the “Mom Line” to drop the girls off at school, and then it will be home to pick up my Scout-a-Roo!

I still don’t know that this weekend counts as birth control, but I do know that I have a huge appreciation for how hard my bestie works at making sure life is good and organized for her kiddos.  Mommas, especially single mommas, need to give themselves more credit for all the hard work and sacrifices they make for their kids!!

New Year, New Things!

Happy New Year!!

I hope everyone had a safe, festive, and fun New Year’s Eve last night!! I’m waking up hangover free, which I think finally means I’ve learned the correct amount of fun and water that’s required for me to survive the night! Which is saying quite a lot because we started much earlier than I normally would have last night!!

I rang in my last year as a twenty something……it’s a bit strange to think about, but hopefully good things will happen this year!! Lucky 29 is a thing right!?!

It’s a little sore and sensitive, but I’ve officially closed the chapter of my life with the Main Squeeze. Looking back on where I woke up last year at this moment is a little sad to think about, but things seem pretty good from where I’m waking up now!

Normally, I spend New Years in the hills…..this year I decided to spend it in the frozen north with my cousins! The family that schooners together stays together!?

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