Father’s Day Again

This is my first Father’s Day without a Grandpa or my Dad living. It’s a little strange that my family ties don’t go back to a patriarchal figure anymore. Day to day life goes on, but it’s strange when you stop to think about it.

I never really know what to say  on days like today. It’s a weird feeling, and it’s hard to express, but slowly I’ve come to terms with it.

I know the pain and loss will always be there, it comes out as a random outburst of angry tears that happens every year around this time of year. It’s the annoyance at Father’s Day commercials and sales, and listening to people complain and whine about the struggles of finding a good gift. It’s always there simmering away, but some days it’s easy easier to control that others.

At the risk of posting photos I’ve already posted before, I thought I would share pictures of my Dad just being my Dad.

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Miss you always.

Learning to Love Yourself

You wouldn’t know it by the weather this week, but summer time and bikini season is looming.  Usually, I’m always amped to throw on a swimmy suit and hit the beach or the pool, but this year, something is different…..

I think I’ve given myself unrealistic body goals.

I believe the root cause is in the fact that I sort of inadvertently lost so much weight last summer.  While struggling with and trying to get my anxiety and panic attacks under control last summer, I basically quit eating.  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be eating, I’m not one of those girls who doesn’t eat…..food is always my jam!  I was just way too worked up all the time.  Eating just a couple bites of anything would just make me feel sick and nauseous.  I remember distinctly sitting at work trying to eat a cliff bar…..it took me 4 days to get through the whole bar!!  During this period I was also working out a ton, because ya know….that’s what they tell you to do when you’re stressed.  Run a bunch, lift all the heavy things and put them down, and get those happy endorphin feelings flowing!  I’m not sure how exactly I managed to function, but apparently anxiety gives you super powers….just not the sort of super powers anyone really wants or should have.

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It turns out that loosing 15 pounds in two weeks has a dramatic effect on your muffin top.  It also has a dramatic effect on your psyche…

I know that I only achieved my slimmed down self because I was unhappy, and that unhappiness and stress changed my body in ways that I normally cannot and would not do.  The worst part though….is that I felt so accomplished.  Maybe it was just the sense of control I had over things.  Nothing felt good, but I had finally achieved the look I had been craving since high school but never had.  It was the one little thing that seemed to be going in my favor.  I finally had reached a point where I didn’t have to squat stretch out my freshly washed jeans, I could throw on anything in my closet and there wasn’t a lump or bump to be found, and I think it just gave me this inflated and superficial sense of self-esteem…..which when you talk about it sounds super awful and unhealthy……BECAUSE IT WAS!

My body is obviously not meant to existing in a muffin top free state….I’m honestly not sure that even the strictest diet would have kept me looking that way.  Once I started feeling better the muffin top slowly but surely started making a come back.  I’m naturally curvy and just tend to carry and collect all my weight generally on my love handles and around my belly button…..a spot I’ve nicknamed “The Doughnut of Awful”.  I’m right around 5’10” so I’m overall very proportional and quite a healthy weight for my height.  I’ve never been told that I need to loose weight by any of my doctors, and even in high school at my most active, swimming and dancing for several hours everyday, I still was no where near as slim and lean as I was last summer.

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…..this photo stresses me out…..as much as I hate to say that and I want to rise above it all…..it still does.  I know that it’s only 12ish pounds and some summer time tan, but I’m not sure that this picture makes me feel as happy as the other one, which is my continual struggle.  There’s some muffin top and tummy squish, and my ribs and hips aren’t poking out of my body.  Idk….it’s not bad, I can rationalize that, but at the same time I don’t exactly feel good about it either.

Lately, I’ve been trying very hard to convince myself that a slightly squishy Miss Happenings is a happier Miss Happenings.

  • I try and remind myself that I’m in a happy relationship, and if I eat out a bit more or drink a bit more now than before it’s because I’m with someone who wants to spend time doing things and having fun with me.
  • I should be happy that my brain finally realizes that skipping a workout to have lunch with friends IS NOT AN ANNOYANCE OR AN INCONVENIENCE!!!  That’s just how my anxiety made me feel about it all the time.  It’s a rare chance to spend quality time with some of my favorite people.
  • I should realize that I rarely hang out in bikinis alone, so even if I’m looking slightly squishy in a bikini I’m still surrounded by people who love and care about me regardless of my muffin top.

I do honestly remind myself of all these things and more when I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see.  I suppose that I probably will always occasionally struggle with my weight and how I look.  I always have from time to time, so it doesn’t make sense that it would mystically go away anytime soon.  The most annoying and hardest part is the small little diva voice in the back of my mind that sometimes quietly whispers that if I just stopped eating for a couple weeks I would slim right down again.  Ugh….go away crazy diva voice…..I have burgers and shit to eat, new beers to try, and things to do that have nothing to do with you!

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Going forward, the best I can do is continue to work out, maybe reign in the diet and kick up the cardio a bit, and just generally live the best and healthiest life I can live!  You only get one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.  I refuse to believe that anyone looks back on their life and regrets the fancy desserts they ate, or the summer time patio drinks with friends they drank.  That simply can’t be reality…..and if it is, I don’t want it to be my reality.  If I had continued on the stressed out path I was on, I know looking back that I would have regrets.  I already regret the things I did or didn’t do because my anxiety controlled my life.

I lived that life once, and I refuse to go back there.

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This summer, in the same jeans as last summer.  A little bit squishier than last summer, but I’m happy!  Ignore the sass face, The Engineer was mocking my photo skills….but he’s just jealous of my shooting skillz!

Happy is healthy….and that’s all there is to it!

 

Roadtrips, Runza, and Mules

Before we get into the bulk of this week’s blog, I’d like to brag about where I’m writing this from.  I’m currently plunked out on my patio, having coffee and brunch with my Scout-a-Roo, and writing.  Thank goodness warmer weather seems like it’s here to stay.  Spring on the prairie can be a roller coaster ride of 80 degree days followed by mini blizzards…..waking up each day is like opening Forest Gump’s box of chocolates…..you never know what you’re going to get!

At least for this weekend anyway, spring seems to have finally sprung, and that means I can have a lazy weekend breakfast with my little one before we pack up and head to Momma’s for chores and Mother’s Day things!  Brunch this morning consists of coffee….obviously, some watermelon that’s on its last few good days, and a mini potato, cheddar, and chirzo quiche that I picked up yesterday from the fancy bakery downtown.  Seriously, things are looking fancy as fuck around here this morning….minus that fact that I’m in a hoodie and sweatpants.  It’s early enough that the sun hasn’t quite reached my patio…..so at least for the moment, warmer clothes are required.

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Now that you’re all…..I’m sure….jealous of my super posh lifestyle, let’s move on to the main event.

Last weekend The Engineer took me home to meet the family!!

It’s been a long time since anyone I’ve dated has taken me to meet their family, and apparently it had been several years since he has taken anyone home.  I had apparently been the topic of some Facebook creeping before we arrived….which is totally fine.  That’s the age we live in, you generally have a good idea about people, at least how they look, before you even meet them.  I was sort of amused however because they thought I would be shorter in person.  This is really only amusing because if you were to dig through most of my Facebook pictures,…..I’m the tallest one in every picture!  Maybe they just assumed that girls from SoDak are extra short?!

I should back up a little bit and start the weekend at the beginning I suppose.  It may or may not have been discussed on the blog, but I was a dancer growing up.  I danced until I graduated and moved off to college.  Technically I was on my college dance team, but that’s not really the same sort of thing, at least at my college.  Momma still works the front desk at the studio I grew up attending, so we usually attend performances.  Last Friday happened to be the start of their annual recital weekend……so I made The Engineer go!  “Made” really isn’t the right word, he did sort of offer to come with.  I know that recitals can drag on a bit, especially if you don’t know any of the dancers, but there were enough tiny puff tutus on tiny ballerinas to keep us amused and entertained for the couple hours a performance takes.

Saturday morning we got up and headed down into Nebraska.  Now, maybe it’s just something that’s engrained in us “born on the river, SoDak kids,” but Nebraska isn’t really a place we like.  No one from there can drive, they make fun of our none existent accents, and they come to our drive throughs and attempt to place no less than 18 individual orders over the rumbling of their mud coated diesel dually trucks.  We get it….you’re from the country……ughs!  It’s important to note that the rumblings that people like me produce are lessened ten fold if you take us into Nebraska the sneaky way….like down the interstate and over into Omaha to shop for example.  However, if you cross us directly over the river…….the grumbling begins.  I don’t care that you put an extra “r” in Norfolk so that unlike the apparently civilized people of Virginia who have Nor-Fuck…..I have to suffer through Nor-Fork.  Don’t make fun of my accent when you’re just adding in letters willy nilly!  Also!!!!….Did you know that apparently in Nebraska they are taught that the capital of SoDak, Pierre, is Pee-Air?!!?  What?!  No….it’s Pier….like where you put a boat.  Seriously Nebraska….get it together down there!

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When you take a SoDak girl across The River weird things happen!

As much as I like to hate on Nebraska, they do have a couple things of note.  Husker football….if you’re into that sort of thing, Trader Joe’s, Lush, and Runza.  Runza is a preferred snack/meal of mine….mostly because I get it on such a limited basis.  Now, for those who are unaware, runzas are basically a bread tube stuffed with beef, cabbage, and spices.  There are variations, such as a mushroom and swiss runza, but in it’s purest form thats what it is.

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They might actually be the state dish of Nebraska.  I know plenty of families that make them homestyle style in their own kitchens.  Clearly, it’s a thing……

I had actually never had a runza, because initially I was confused and overwhelmed in the drive through with the varieties one could purchase.  I had no idea options were going to be available to me, and I got a little freaked out.  Not wanting to be one of those people who holds up the drive through line, I panicked and ordered chicken strips….which are amazeballs….and that’s been my standard order every time I got to a Runza.  Life doesn’t get much better than actual chicken made into deliciously huge stripes, thick and potatoey crinkle fries, and honey mustard.  Honestly, Runza honey mustard might be the best thing that Nebraska has ever created, and is the standard by how I judge all other honey mustards……here’s looking at you Sonic and Arby’s with your crappy honey mustard!

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That good honey mustard feeling!!!

Anyway, The Engineer has learned that the best and fastest way to turn my mood is with a snack.  Like, I’m not saying he got his Costco membership just to get me guacamole…..but that’s mostly what it’s been used for so far! 🙂

After nearly an hour of listening to me bemoan the horrors of dually trucks in drive throughs and debating the proper pronunciation of Norfolk, we stopped and got Runza.  It was decided that I’d get chicken, he’d get a runza, and we would just share.  Now, I’d been informed by several people that I would like runza.  After all, I like all the things that go into a runza, so it seemed logical that I would like it.  However, logic apparently doesn’t always apply.  Dislike isn’t really the word I would use, I mean I’d eat one and be sorta happy about it.  They have a flavor that vaguely reminds of me when Dad used to be in charge of dinner if Momma was gone for something.  These dinners occasionally would be canned Dinty Moore beef stew on a couple slices of bread.  It’s not a bad flavor, but certainly not one I’d want all the time.

Realistically, I don’t see myself changing my standard order anytime soon.  Why would I get a runza when I know how glorious the chicken stripes are?!  Also, I’m not much of a fan of their onion rings…..#BurgerKingRingsforLife…..however, should you be unable to decide between rings and fries, Runza has revolutionized the food scene by allowing you to get Frings……half fry, half ring.  If you were say….in the business of trying to hunt a Nebraskan, I’m fairly sure that a trap baited with an order of Frings and a Busch Light would get the job done every time!

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The snackies make me happy!!  Yes, I take these embarrassing SnapChat pics….I feel no shame!

We spent a nice weekend with his family doing mostly lazy outdoor things like sunning and drinking.  I’m generally totally on board with lazy summertime drinking so this worked out just fine for me.  His brother in law eventually made a whole series of super yummy thin crust pizzas….honestly I couldn’t even tell you the flavors.  Cheesy, saucy, deliciousness that was most definitely needed after a day of drinking and attempting to discover the glory that is the moscow mule.  They are apparently, a “mulie” family.  I had never really had one before, maybe just the occasional sip off of The Engineer’s.  Even he doesn’t drink them often when he’s with me.  Usually around the house we are beer people, margaritas if we are feeling extra fancy!  Apparently, the vodka makes the mule….and I have to say that Svedka Blue Raspberry makes a fairly delicious drink.  Personally…..I’d probably be more onboard with Jalapeño Grapefruit….but that’s just cuz i’m zesty like that!

Decisions, Decisions!

All in all, it was a good weekend in “The Good Life” country.  I left sunburned and happy having had my honey mustard fix.  I even survived a brief escapade into the small town, downtown bar scene.  I call his home town small…..it’s actually twice the size of my hometown……but that’s irrelevant!

KitchenAid Struggles….and Other News!

I really like my KitchenAid mixer although I use it only on rare occasions.  Generally, these occasions revolve around making mashed potatoes or occasionally banana bread!  In case you’d like to know a (Mis)Happening’s fun fact…..mashed potatoes are one of my most favorite foods!  However, during my last mashed potato making session, my KitchenAid attacked me.  And…..there was a witness to the event even!

 

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I love this color….Imperial Grey….nice texturized finish and it goes with everything.  Color, my friends, is over rated!

My KitchenAid doesn’t occupy a permanent countertop position for a couple reasons.  1…I don’t have that much countertop to go around, and 2…..you can only eat mashed potatoes so often.  It just doesn’t need to be out all the time.  This effort to clean up and put stuff away is really the cause of my most recent incident.  Frankly, this isn’t the first time that attempting to clean up and organize my life has come back to bite me in the boo-tay.  Often times, I wonder why I even try and adult, because it just doesn’t seem like it ever works out for me.  Case in point….I maybe got too ambitious/excited about planting some veggies for summer, and I probably now have a couple dead tomato plants because spring in South Dakota is currently involving a winter weather advisory!

The KitchenAid’s home is on the bottom of my pantry cupboard.  It only barely fits on the shelf, and some focus and maneuvering is required to get it put back away.  I’m not even sure what exactly the mixer got caught on while I was trying to put it away the other night.  I do know that the squishy part of my knee, right above my knee cap, ran smack into the pointy front edge of my mixer.  Now, I get hurt a lot, a couple weeks ago a candle attacked me in a similar fashion while I was getting in the truck, but this was, I think, the worst owwy I’ve received while at home.  I was left with the sort of feeling you get when you bang your funny bone…only in my knee, and a large bump and bruise.  To make matters a bit worse, the bruise is right at Scout’s head height, so she has a tendency to whack it while trying to show off her hedgehog or alligator retrieving and murdering skills.

To makes matters worse, I WAS ATTEMPTING TO MAKE DINNER FOR THE NEW BOY!

So there’s The Engineer….sitting across the island from me….looking slightly concerned and a little bit confused as I’m like half laughing and being mostly in pain.  I’ve warned him several times that life with me is just a constant ride on the struggle bus, but either he doesn’t believe me, or he doesn’t seem to mind.  It’s not even like I had to pull out all the cooking stops to impress him.  He’s been to several of the house parties, so he’s always known that I’m perfectly capable of whipping up some dinner.

He had his own fair share of fails this weekend though too!  It just hasn’t been the most successful weekend at Casa (Mis)Happenings.  I finally decided to upgrade my old college coffee pot.  I’ve been wanting new one for quite some time, but I had originally planned on waiting for the old one to die before upgrading.  However, I got tired of waiting….and frankly that wasn’t the best plan because it would involve being without a coffee pot for a day or two.  So…..I ordered myself a Ninja!  It’s got a timer, I don’t have to move it out from under the cabinets every morning to fill the water tank, and it will brew different sizes and strengths of coffee depending on what I’m after.  I’m excited to use the Iced Coffee setting this summer so I don’t have to drink stale, old, brewed coffee over ice, and The Engineer is excited to make his new favorite coffee drink…..the frappucino….in combo with my Ninja blender!

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He set things up, and I got a beer…..it was super ideal! 🙂

Anyway, he decided that he was going to make the inaugural pot of coffee on the new Ninja.  Someone….maybe over estimated how strong he likes his coffee….and brewed up a pot of mud.  I thought it was fairly drinkable….with the addition of some coconut milk.  He used the included milk frother thingy to whip up some milk to try and fix his…..it didn’t work out.  It was only after he had given up on drinking the mud that I remembered that I have some actual coffee creamer in the fridge that BFB left behind a couple weeks ago….whoopsy!  Despite the bad coffee, we did have a nice rainy morning Harry Potter mini marathon!  I’m not sure what else you’re supposed to do when the temperature drops near to freezing and it rains all day.  Movies and snacks seem like the only logical answer!

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I Know this is Late, But Hear Me Out

Yes, yes, yes I know what you’re thinking……”You’re not even in school anymore girl….get your shit together!”  Okay, I get that, but I had a lot going on this weekend, I’ve worked late every night this week, and there was no way that this was going to get put together on time.  Epic things happened that deserved time and dedication!

On a totally random side note, I bought a cute keyboard cover for the MacBook….so I’m typing this out all stealthy and silent.  You wouldn’t even know I’m working, it’s amazing!

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Okay….so….onto the main event.

LIL B’ CAME TO VISIT AND WE HAD A HOUSE PARTY!

She got here Friday afternoon and it was basically all the food and all the drinks all weekend long.  Sometimes you’ve gotta let it all go I guess.  Friday night we all had dinner at the BFB and Hubby in Law’s house.  Then of course BFB made dipped strawberries….cuz that’s just how we roll…..FANCY!

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I take only the best pictures of my friends….it’s how they know I love them!

Post dinner we played board games….cuz we are adults!  #sorrynotsorry…..but literally, we played Sorry.  Does anyone else remember that game taking hours?!  I think we must have been doing it wrong cuz it took forever!  Also, everyone discovered that I have problems when Skittles are in my presence…..like black tar heroin level addiction problems if they appear within arms reach of me!

Saturday morning we had “Crepe Bar” at the BFB’s….like I’m really not sure you’re really grasping the level of fancy we roll with when we are together!

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This plus bacon and Crepe Bar….what could even go wrong?!  BFB even bought fresh flowers!

We girls went to the mall  after breakfast.  The mall on a Saturday is always a bad idea, but we did get through Sephora, Victoria’s Secret, and Pink.  If you’re wondering why we had to go to both Victoria’s Secret and Pink…..it’s because I’m a diva and insisted on it.  Under roos are cheaper at Pink, and this is important to me since the Scout a Roo continues to eat them given even the smallest oppertunity.  It’s a bit of a problem, but she’s old now so I doubt it’s going to change anytime soon honestly.  Plus side, I guess she is always keeping me in the season’s latest fashions, under roo wise anyway!

After shopping it was time to start cooking.  The cooking started with maybe the best question quote that has ever left Lil B’s mouth…..

Is your tomato sauce…..tomatoey?!  Like does it taste like tomatoes?  Is it like Prego?!”

WE…MADE…SO…MUCH…FOOD!!

I had 7 friends over for Pasta, Pino, and Pizza.  We opened up Maximus, the 5 liter bottle of wine I received for Christmas, and all went to town.  Between us, we drank most of it.  Probably about half of a normal sized bottle was all that remained the next morning when I was cleaning up.  To go along with Maximus….we made way too much food….which is a thing we tend to do every time.

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A busy stove top is a happy stove top!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The party begins!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Alright, the run down!

  • Erik’s Homemade Alfredo Sauce with Chicken
  • Red Sauce with Hamburger…..homemade by me!  (Yes, it’s tomatoey)
  • Chicken and Pesto Pizza
  • Pepperoni Pizza with Onions and Green Peppers
  • 2 Pounds of Dry Pasta
  • 1 Large Spaghetti Squash
  • A Whole Loaf of Garlic Bread
  • Gluten Free Pasta for the BFB

After we all got silent and shoved our faces full of yummy Italian and wine, we basically just bummed around, chatted and caught up with each other, and played a couple rounds of Cards Against Humanity.

Yes, you saw that picture right, Maximus required buddy system pours for probably the first half of the bottle.  He was just so heavy, it wasn’t a one man job.  Also, uncorking him wasn’t a one man job either.  Lil B had to help hold the base of the corkscrew while I leveraged the arm up.  Once the cork got started it went alright, but the initial part seemed a little questionable.  There was even a brief discussion of whether or not power tools might be necessary.  We were all maybe a little concerned about the quality of Maximus, but all things considered he wasn’t half bad at all!  The night was another successful dinner and booze party!

Sunday morning I made breakfast and we had our “Girl’s Morning Coffee Sesh”.  Sometimes it’s the littlest things you miss when your besties aren’t around all the time, and for us….morning coffee is that thing.  We also learned that pancakes made with coconut are delicious, but literally pancake flat!  They don’t puff up at all….and yes, before you ask, I did add plenty of baking powder.

After breakfast, we decided to take advantage of the unseasonably warm weather and go wander the boutiques downtown.  Between breakfast, the bakery, and lunch….we basically ate all morning long….and I’m totally ok with that!

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Macaroons and Ham Croissants anyone?!

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Jalapeño margaritas at my favorite downtown restaurant with my favorite people!

All in all it was an amazeballs weekend, and given the amount of alcohol consumed over the three days….it’s a Christmas miracle that no one woke up with a hangover!  I’ll take that as a win and get to planning the next bestie weekend.  Actually, the next bestie weekend is gonna be in a couple weeks, except that we will be short the BFB. :/

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I’ve Got a Brand New Bowfriend!

So….do you all remember when I said the other week that I was making a large purchase!?!

 

Well….I’ve gone and done it!

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I’ve wanted a compound bow for quite sometime, so when I got my 5 year anniversary bonus from work I put that money towards a bow.  After trying out a few different makes and models, I settled on a Hoyt Powermax.  I have learned that there is no such thing as a bad bow, you just need to find what feels comfortable and works for you.  I purchased him all set up and ready to go at Dakota Archery.  He was just hanging up on the wall waiting patiently for me.

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I’ve only taken him….and yes I call him him, all the time…..out shooting a couple times.  Slowly but surely I’m getting everything set up on him.  I still need to spend some time adjusting the pins on my sight, but I’m shooting fairly consistently and that’s the main thing.  In typical girl fashion I’m maybe overly concerned about everything matching, so I picked up some new grey arrows with lime and white fletchings at the range the other afternoon!  I’ve also added a wrist sling….of course in lime and black!  The next thing will be a case to hold all of my stuff and probably an annual pass to my local range!

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Taking the bowfriend out for a little afternoon shooting date!

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Ignore the death grip….the sling should help that a bit….and practice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This kids…..is why you keep your elbows relaxed.  The bow will tell you if you’ve got bad form!  Maybe should add an arm guard to the “To Purchase” list?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m glad that I’ve gotten back into archery, and that I’ve got a hobby I can put some time and energy into.  Sounds weird, but it’s oddly therapeutic to go fire some arrows down range.  It’s probably calming because you have to settle your breathing and focus, but it’s easy to block out the world and just focus on the target.  A couple hours pass pretty quickly.  Plus, once it warms up there are plenty of outdoor ranges and small local competitions to attend.  I’ve already got one scheduled with some friends…..so I guess I better get to practicing!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

S🐾S: Pleaz Sendz Halp

Herowr!

iz in need of reskue!

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Feeling highly suspicious!

 

Mumma made me take a bath after calling me “stink butt”.  i do not know dis term “stink butt” but my little life waz most certainly at risk.  Just becuz iz seeing furands next week iz no reason to try and make me klean.  My furands do not mind and i wurked hard to collect all the dirtz.

Mumma iz currently trying to bribe back my luvs with tomatoes and kale but iz going to try and remain strong.  If someonez could pleaz sendz halp, i would luv youz furever.  im clearly being tortured and abuzed, so i can not stayz here, but inz the meantime i will plot revenge by finding and eating all da underroos.  Pay back iz a bitch!

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So upset I can’t even look at you…..

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….but I mean if you’re giving away tomatoes…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Luv,

Fluffy, pisst, and dezperate

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