Roadtrips, Runza, and Mules

Before we get into the bulk of this week’s blog, I’d like to brag about where I’m writing this from.  I’m currently plunked out on my patio, having coffee and brunch with my Scout-a-Roo, and writing.  Thank goodness warmer weather seems like it’s here to stay.  Spring on the prairie can be a roller coaster ride of 80 degree days followed by mini blizzards…..waking up each day is like opening Forest Gump’s box of chocolates…..you never know what you’re going to get!

At least for this weekend anyway, spring seems to have finally sprung, and that means I can have a lazy weekend breakfast with my little one before we pack up and head to Momma’s for chores and Mother’s Day things!  Brunch this morning consists of coffee….obviously, some watermelon that’s on its last few good days, and a mini potato, cheddar, and chirzo quiche that I picked up yesterday from the fancy bakery downtown.  Seriously, things are looking fancy as fuck around here this morning….minus that fact that I’m in a hoodie and sweatpants.  It’s early enough that the sun hasn’t quite reached my patio…..so at least for the moment, warmer clothes are required.

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Now that you’re all…..I’m sure….jealous of my super posh lifestyle, let’s move on to the main event.

Last weekend The Engineer took me home to meet the family!!

It’s been a long time since anyone I’ve dated has taken me to meet their family, and apparently it had been several years since he has taken anyone home.  I had apparently been the topic of some Facebook creeping before we arrived….which is totally fine.  That’s the age we live in, you generally have a good idea about people, at least how they look, before you even meet them.  I was sort of amused however because they thought I would be shorter in person.  This is really only amusing because if you were to dig through most of my Facebook pictures,…..I’m the tallest one in every picture!  Maybe they just assumed that girls from SoDak are extra short?!

I should back up a little bit and start the weekend at the beginning I suppose.  It may or may not have been discussed on the blog, but I was a dancer growing up.  I danced until I graduated and moved off to college.  Technically I was on my college dance team, but that’s not really the same sort of thing, at least at my college.  Momma still works the front desk at the studio I grew up attending, so we usually attend performances.  Last Friday happened to be the start of their annual recital weekend……so I made The Engineer go!  “Made” really isn’t the right word, he did sort of offer to come with.  I know that recitals can drag on a bit, especially if you don’t know any of the dancers, but there were enough tiny puff tutus on tiny ballerinas to keep us amused and entertained for the couple hours a performance takes.

Saturday morning we got up and headed down into Nebraska.  Now, maybe it’s just something that’s engrained in us “born on the river, SoDak kids,” but Nebraska isn’t really a place we like.  No one from there can drive, they make fun of our none existent accents, and they come to our drive throughs and attempt to place no less than 18 individual orders over the rumbling of their mud coated diesel dually trucks.  We get it….you’re from the country……ughs!  It’s important to note that the rumblings that people like me produce are lessened ten fold if you take us into Nebraska the sneaky way….like down the interstate and over into Omaha to shop for example.  However, if you cross us directly over the river…….the grumbling begins.  I don’t care that you put an extra “r” in Norfolk so that unlike the apparently civilized people of Virginia who have Nor-Fuck…..I have to suffer through Nor-Fork.  Don’t make fun of my accent when you’re just adding in letters willy nilly!  Also!!!!….Did you know that apparently in Nebraska they are taught that the capital of SoDak, Pierre, is Pee-Air?!!?  What?!  No….it’s Pier….like where you put a boat.  Seriously Nebraska….get it together down there!

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When you take a SoDak girl across The River weird things happen!

As much as I like to hate on Nebraska, they do have a couple things of note.  Husker football….if you’re into that sort of thing, Trader Joe’s, Lush, and Runza.  Runza is a preferred snack/meal of mine….mostly because I get it on such a limited basis.  Now, for those who are unaware, runzas are basically a bread tube stuffed with beef, cabbage, and spices.  There are variations, such as a mushroom and swiss runza, but in it’s purest form thats what it is.

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They might actually be the state dish of Nebraska.  I know plenty of families that make them homestyle style in their own kitchens.  Clearly, it’s a thing……

I had actually never had a runza, because initially I was confused and overwhelmed in the drive through with the varieties one could purchase.  I had no idea options were going to be available to me, and I got a little freaked out.  Not wanting to be one of those people who holds up the drive through line, I panicked and ordered chicken strips….which are amazeballs….and that’s been my standard order every time I got to a Runza.  Life doesn’t get much better than actual chicken made into deliciously huge stripes, thick and potatoey crinkle fries, and honey mustard.  Honestly, Runza honey mustard might be the best thing that Nebraska has ever created, and is the standard by how I judge all other honey mustards……here’s looking at you Sonic and Arby’s with your crappy honey mustard!

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That good honey mustard feeling!!!

Anyway, The Engineer has learned that the best and fastest way to turn my mood is with a snack.  Like, I’m not saying he got his Costco membership just to get me guacamole…..but that’s mostly what it’s been used for so far! 🙂

After nearly an hour of listening to me bemoan the horrors of dually trucks in drive throughs and debating the proper pronunciation of Norfolk, we stopped and got Runza.  It was decided that I’d get chicken, he’d get a runza, and we would just share.  Now, I’d been informed by several people that I would like runza.  After all, I like all the things that go into a runza, so it seemed logical that I would like it.  However, logic apparently doesn’t always apply.  Dislike isn’t really the word I would use, I mean I’d eat one and be sorta happy about it.  They have a flavor that vaguely reminds of me when Dad used to be in charge of dinner if Momma was gone for something.  These dinners occasionally would be canned Dinty Moore beef stew on a couple slices of bread.  It’s not a bad flavor, but certainly not one I’d want all the time.

Realistically, I don’t see myself changing my standard order anytime soon.  Why would I get a runza when I know how glorious the chicken stripes are?!  Also, I’m not much of a fan of their onion rings…..#BurgerKingRingsforLife…..however, should you be unable to decide between rings and fries, Runza has revolutionized the food scene by allowing you to get Frings……half fry, half ring.  If you were say….in the business of trying to hunt a Nebraskan, I’m fairly sure that a trap baited with an order of Frings and a Busch Light would get the job done every time!

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The snackies make me happy!!  Yes, I take these embarrassing SnapChat pics….I feel no shame!

We spent a nice weekend with his family doing mostly lazy outdoor things like sunning and drinking.  I’m generally totally on board with lazy summertime drinking so this worked out just fine for me.  His brother in law eventually made a whole series of super yummy thin crust pizzas….honestly I couldn’t even tell you the flavors.  Cheesy, saucy, deliciousness that was most definitely needed after a day of drinking and attempting to discover the glory that is the moscow mule.  They are apparently, a “mulie” family.  I had never really had one before, maybe just the occasional sip off of The Engineer’s.  Even he doesn’t drink them often when he’s with me.  Usually around the house we are beer people, margaritas if we are feeling extra fancy!  Apparently, the vodka makes the mule….and I have to say that Svedka Blue Raspberry makes a fairly delicious drink.  Personally…..I’d probably be more onboard with Jalapeño Grapefruit….but that’s just cuz i’m zesty like that!

Decisions, Decisions!

All in all, it was a good weekend in “The Good Life” country.  I left sunburned and happy having had my honey mustard fix.  I even survived a brief escapade into the small town, downtown bar scene.  I call his home town small…..it’s actually twice the size of my hometown……but that’s irrelevant!

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Hear Ye, Hear Ye!!!

So…….I have an announcement to make……

I’M NO LONGER A SINGLE TWENTY SOMETHING!

I, through the denied schemes of my Chemistry Smarty Pants and her boyfriend, have managed to snag myself a super cute, super nice, Nebraska guy.  For years now, the CSP has been touting the wonders of boys from Nebraska……”Come visit and we’ll find you a nice Catholic boy!”, “We just need to find you a nice guy, come to Omaha!”  Well CSP, hats off to you because you were right all along!!  He was part of my New Year’s adventures with the Bear Cubs, sooooo technically…I didn’t even have to go to Nebraska to find him! 🙂

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I only have the two pictures, and they aren’t great cuz they were at a bar and a concert…..  but seriously…..LOOK AT THE CUTENESS!!!!  Ugh, I die!!  Plus, he makes me a very happy girl. 🙂 (Ignore my extra spiky looking eyelashes in the first pic, they usually don’t look like that I promise….. :/ )

So last Friday night Scout, my new travel french press, and I ventured into Nebraska to spend a long weekend with my Main Squeeze!  I had to haul my own coffee because he doesn’t drink coffee.  He’s one of those moderately disturbing “morning people”.  So, I ordered myself a little travel mug french press thinger to leave there so I don’t die when I visit.  I’m way less fun to hang out with if I don’t get my morning caffeine fix.

It should be noted that I’ve spent most of my life avoiding Nebraska.  This stems from a deep seated, high school hatred of the stupid kids…..who would drive across the river in their stupid dually trucks….to the DQ….to try and order stupid amounts of food…..all on separate tickets…..through the drive through window.  Pro tip kids…..all we ever heard was your trucks!!  Might as well just park that puppy and come inside because you’re gonna have to shut it off to order anyway.  Sorry for the sidetrack……but it needed to be said….if only because it still annoys me and I haven’t worked at the DQ for 10 years!  Going to Nebraska is a hot button issue for me!

Friday

He took me snack shopping Friday night because my Juice Stop for the road was not cutting it.  I……WE….WE…..then proceeded to sorta burn a double pepperoni frozen pizza which we should not have been eating anyway because #FridaysduringLent!  It wasn’t that burnt, and frankly wasn’t even the worst pizza I’ve ever eaten.

Saturday

The dogs and the window replacement dudes woke us up.  So, we mostly hungout in the kitchen corralling the dogs.  I may or may not have eaten half of the burnt pizza, a bag of sour octopus gummies, and struggled trying to make coffee in what I can only assume is a miniature microwave.  He had a bowl of dry cheerios and at some point started eating croutons our of the bag like chips…….I giggled…. a lot.

After the windows were done, we napped.  Basically, we were super anti productive! We did finally shower and motivate because there was a baseball fundraiser event we were meeting the CSP and her man at.  So, I spent the night in a small town gym with some of my fav people, drinking Bud Heavy, discovering that toy tractors are a thing people collect…..like seriously collect….. and generally living life like a big cob.  The hat is maybe only funny because of how I became the owner of said hat.  I think it’s hilarious, given my company that night, you don’t have to understand!

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So this is what I’m gonna be rocking from now on….Big Cob Hybrids…totally a thing!  I mean you wouldn’t wanna be a small cob!?

On the way home from the small town I had that moment where you don’t realize how much you have drunk till you leave the party.  Also, we didn’t really eat anything during the day which could have also contributed to the slightly tipsy munchies.  So….we had to stop at McD’s.  Whilst in the drive through I discovered that he doesn’t eat Ketchup…..cue face palm.  I, who allegedly while drunk, used basically an entire bottle of ketchup on a chicken strip basket, am dating the only person I know who doesn’t eat ketchup.  Sigh…….I mean I guess he’s allowed to have a downfall…..I just never expected that it would be ketchup!!

Sunday

Sleeping in is glorious!  Well as much sleeping in as the fur babies would allow us.  Followed by more sleeping, because that’s what weekends are for.

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These are the fur babies….code named Thunderpaws and Little Foot.  Little Foot is always down for chilling, Thunderpaws is always down for fetch.

We lounged around, whined about being hungry, and then…..shopping!!  My Main Squeeze drove me over to Lush because I was out of bubbles, and a life without bubbles isn’t really a life I want to be living honestly.  So, into Lush we went and started the process of sniffing bath bombs and bubble bars.  Mostly I buy Lush online, so there is a whole world of stuff there that I know nothing about….smell wise.

Everything was alright until we got to a pink bubble bar…..I couldn’t even tell you what it was called, or even what it was supposed to smell like.  Not great….it was pretty not great! I do however really wish I had a camera to capture the subsequent face of horror/confusion/terror that flashed across Main Squeeze’s face when I made him smell it!!  After the initial shock was over, he just looked at me panicked and asked, “Why can I taste it!?!”……followed by several “That was awful!!!”.  All in all I think he’s pretty glad to have survived the experience in one piece.  Lucky, for me though I got stocked up on all my fav things!

  • 2 Brightside Bubble Bars — Orange scented and amazingly refreshing.  These are my favorite.  I break each bar into 4 pieces and it still gives a huge amount of lightly zesty bubbles.
  • Rose Jam Bubbleroon Bubble Bar — Smells like a huge bouquet of fresh roses.  I used half of this the other night and it was lovely.  More calming I think than the Brightsides, but it’s just a difference in scent.
  • Blackberry Bath Bomb — Haven’t tried this yet, but it smells fruity and nice.  I’ve used a different scent and I like them because they are huge.  I generally throw them onto the floor of my garage to crack them in half.  I find that I feel softer after the bath bombs than the bubble bars.
  • Ro’s Argan Body Conditioner — Same Rose Jam smell as the Bubbleroon.  It’s lotion you apply in the shower!  Sorta weird as it makes water bead up and repel off of you, but I’d rather put on my lotion in my nice toasty shower than in my cold bathroom!!  It feels a bit waxy in the shower, but once you dry off it leaves you super soft with a nice light scent.

Next time I need to refill my stash I’m hoping they still have Big Bang Bubble Bars.  They are supposed to be lemon and grapefruit scented and that sounds perfect for summertime relaxing!!

So Nebraska has this thing…..called Nebraska Furniture Mart.  Sounds harmless and normal right!?  Well people kept talking about it like it was some huge deal, and I’m just over here thinking like, “It’s a furniture store people, like calm the fuck down kids!”  So, after Lush and stopping to grab me another Juice Stop for a snack, Main Squeeze took me to the furniture mart.  I HAVE NO WORDS!!!!  I mean obviously, it’s a blog so there will be words…..but seriously!!  Someone should have emotionally prepared me!!  I spent most of the time while we were trying to find a parking spot freaking out cuz he was hungry and hadn’t had any food yet, and here he was taking me shopping instead of getting food.  Unbeknownst to me, he was scheming the entire time……he’s very scheme-y this Main Squeeze of mine, always in the cutest way possible.

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HE KNEW THERE WAS FOOD THERE THE WHOLE TIME!!!!

We spent a while wandering around the various BUILDINGS that comprise the Furniture Mart.  Like you have to walk outside to get to different departments!  It was amazing!!!  So, I found a bedroom set I can’t afford, the mystical mermaid pillows, and taught him all about the struggle that is finding a good, affordable, and not heinous area rug.  Did you know that they now make a refrigerator that has a Keurig machine in it?!?!?  The Squeeze has been informed that that’s the fridge I want for the European castle we are going to buy.  He supports my choice…..he’s the best like that.

Sunday night we watched some History Channel…..which I never get to do.  I‘m glad that he shares my opinions on how stupid some of the sellers on  Pawn Stars are!  After we got some TV ranting outta our systems, Squeeze made me noodles and we watched Crimson Peak.  Bitch Faced Bestie told me it was scary…..it was good, but idk that ‘scary’ is the word I’d use to describe it.

Monday

My Squeeze had to run to the DMV in the morning to register his new car, so the fur babies and I stayed home and packed my stuff back up.  I had basically exploded my bag all over his spare room and taken up the entire bathroom with stuff, so getting it all put back together is a bit of an ordeal.  As soon as he got back home, it was snack time.  If you haven’t discovered, I’m a bit like a puppy.  I like snacks, naps, and occasionally some exercise!!  We had bacon and toast, and then it was time for a movie and a nap.  Luckily, I know what happens during Pirate of the Caribbean, so missing the middle due to a quick nap was no big deal.

After the nap and movie, it was time to head home.  I pretty sadly loaded up my near to exploding bag and the pupster, and we headed home.  After a brief detour through the Burger King drive through, I was confronted with a pretty substantial amount of traffic.  It took me probably 10 minutes to remember that it was Monday around 5pm!!

All in all, it was a good weekend.  I’m glad I got to spend some quality chillaxing time with my Main Squeeze, and I’m pretty excited to tell you all about him!!