Every once in awhile……you do something sorta stupid. This tale of stupidity, otherwise known as My Life with the Vinyl Enthusiast, starts with a semi drunk dare in a bar.
My people and I were out celebrating the bestie’s hubby’s birthday one night a few months ago, and she dared me to do something I stupidly suggested. (The actual phrasing of the dare is a bit non-politically correct, and I don’t need this to be that kinda blog, so I shall rephrase slightly.) The bestie basically dared me that I wouldn’t go up and ask a decently attractive dude, “Hey! Do you wanna dance and fight chics with me?!?!” So….I did…..cuz it seemed like a reasonably good idea at the time. And…. it was a reasonably good idea on how to spend a semi tipsy night at the bar! (The bestie still owes me a prize for performing the dare…..!!)
The downfall of this came a several months later. So, the Vinyl Enthusiast invites me out on a date. By the time of the date, the bestie and I, in the course of our stalking discovered that he was divorced with kids……which is ya know……not on the list! We had also discovered the reason for his nickname to which my intial thought was, “OF COURSE HE’S A VINYL ENTHUSIAST” In a show of being open minded, and therefore more adult, I decided to go on this date.
So, the first date was fine. The second date also seemed alright……until I asked the apparently dreaded, “How old are you?” See bestie and I realized that he was older than us, which again is….fine….to a point, we just didn’t know how old. Guys are tricky in that they have a strange ability to look much younger than they actually are.
I have a friend who knows the Enthusiast socially, and she claimed that he was “like maybe 38”. That seemed ok….I could have rolled with that I guess. It really did seem okay until I discovered that HE’S 41!!!!! Luckily, I was somewhat wine tipsy when he broke the news, so I think I managed to stifle the shock and awe face fairly well…..although maybe I didn’t…..the jury is out on this.
Now……no need to panic, I’ve done that for you! I’ve also compiled a list of reason why it might, at first glance, seem okay to date a 41 year old.
- He owns a home and has a job!
- He owns a super sexy, old school, muscle car.
- You can carry on intelligent conversations.
- He possess good dating skills….like manners, an ability to dance, and if he invites you over for dinner he’ll buy you flowers.
- You generally live life what a motto similar to “Hold my beer, and watch this!” What’s the worst that could happen!?
Those all seem like legitimate reasons to give something a chance…..so under bestie’s advice, and in defiance to my mother’s looks of cautious disapproval….I gave it a chance……and this is what I discovered.
- There’s really nothing wrong with the fact that he has a house and a job……
- His muscle car was a teenager when I was born…..more to the point……HE WAS A TEENAGER WHEN I WAS BORN! This won’t always be apparent, but you have to stifle the urge to tell him not to parent you…..it can’t end well.
- You maybe be able to have conversations, but they will be few and far between because he has parental responsibilities. Even being a divorced, part time parent takes up a huge amount of time….I had no idea really. Also, after a certain amount of time, one should ask about the wee tottlets, even if one has no desire to know much about them. That’s just polite after all! If you don’t ask, they will just volunteer info anyway….it’s a lost cause.
- His good dating skills and manners will cause him to have existential crises about that status of your relationship. This can be confusing to a twenty something who was pretty sure that “going on dates” didn’t qualify one for:
- Meeting the children
- Titling the relationship
- Having generally any sort of concern about the “state of the relationship”
- Expecting any sort of scheduled time commitments from the other person
Now, I’m clearly not a dating expert, and I believe that if you’re dating the same kinds of people all the time, you’ll probably get the same results. Didn’t Einstein say something along that line!?? I think he did…..anyway. I support change and the desire to try something new. I also believe if you’re gonna go……it should be big or you should go home. However, I would suggest based on the evidence that maybe the 27:41 age gap is a bit too much gap. Idk, maybe that’s just me…..
It’s shaping up to be a pretty epic party weekend around here. Expect another picture blog to document the adventure!